mallory cake

i am a teacher. in ukraine.

2012-01-26T12:43:00.000-07:00

can everyone say teacher?
teeeeaaaacher?

very good!(in that annoying high pitched voice...like you're talking to a baby. or a dog)

that annoying high pitched voice is like the definition of my life right now. why do i feel like if i talk like that my lesson will be more exciting? or the kids will want to pay more attention to me?

no. they dont. they hate me. they make fun of me when i talk.

but you know what, it's going better then i expected...

yesterday (tuesday) my schedule is this: show up at the school around 10:40. get shuttled to a different school and be a teachers aide (aka they throw you in front of the class and you bs your way around the lesson for an hour) and..then at 1 the shuttle takes me home and i go back to my school and eat lunch, and then i can do whatever i please.

which is hide in my room and write on my blog, and probably sometimes sleep quite a bit.
i am still getting used to being here.

but i want you all to know: i went on an adventure.
it wasnt grand, it probably doesnt even seem like a big deal to you. but to me, it is.

i was walking home from school mid-afternoon...and i wasnt exactly sure what else i was going to do for the rest of my day. so i made my fellow teachers come on an adventure with me. and boy did we have fun!
okay, kinda sarcastic. but we did enjoy ourselves a bit...

step one: walk to my house from the school.
there are a few shops and different businesses on the way home, so i thought we could do some exploration.
we first went to this one store that had clothing in the window, so i was excited.... indubitably. but it turned out better than you would expect. this was no clothing store. this was a thrift store. i could tell by the smell. if any of you have entered a DI, goodwill, any thrift store ever known to man...you will know the EXACT smell that i am talking about. and i am happy to report, 6,000 miles away from home...thrift stores still smell the same.

but anyways, i found a couple awesome sweaters for pretty cheap, but i didnt buy anything. i was far too busy overheating in my many-a-layers.

then we went to the market, which coincidentally is the exact same thing as a grocery store.
awesome.
so while walking to the grocery store, we walked up these stairs on the side of the building and then walked around the raised sidewalk to get inside, but there was a pillar blocking the entrance from where we were walking. and the only way we could get there was walk ALL THE WAY around the building and back to the stairs we came up, or we could jump down, attempting to hurdle the giant pile of snow that was underneath us.
so we decided to take the route any sane person would take, we tackled on that pile of snow like it was our biznatch.
first, my fellow teacher mike decided to jump down. the pile of snow looked pretty old and like it had hardened over the days, so we were confident in the fact that you could put your foot on it, and spring over the rest of the pile. i guess that wasnt so, because he sunk up to his knee, but was able to escape quick enough before anything else had happened. and then it was my turn to hurdle the snow...and i was prepared...kinda. i stood there for a bit being a big fat baby, and some guy came up to me and jabbered and then grabbed my hand to help me..so i went for it. and it turned out worse than expected. i sunk down up to my hip and then leaped out awkwardly. it was more dramatic, i promise, but i'm not quite in the most dramatic mood in the world, which is weird. this cold weather is starting to effect me i guess!

anyways, we went to the store. i bought some chocolate...some diet coke :)))))))))))), and some bread..and some hot chocolate...all for like $3!!!!
i love this place. i feel like i dont spend any money...i dont think i have spent more than $20 here so far. and i've done a lot of things!

so anyways, that was awesome. it was fun to look around the store and see all the funny new different things, and try and decide what different things are.
i love this place. dont listen to what i say when i complain, because i really do love it. i love my host family. i love my school (mostly), i love the teachers i am with, and i looovvveee the freedom and exploring i get to do. how lucky am i to have these experiences! i cant even believe i am here sometimes. i get kinda bummed when it is 0 degrees outside and i am crying my eyeballs out that my toes are cold. and i cant breathe because it is so freezing. and then i remember that i am so lucky that i get to be here. i wouldnt change one thing about it (except for maybe sharing this experience with all of you!) words cannot explain the things that i get to experience...i wish you all could understand.

this was the scariest thing i have ever done. who moves in..with a family they dont know...in a country they dont know anything about..with a language they dont know a single word...to teach a language to little brats in a program that is quite unclear?
i do :)
and guess what? it's the best thing i could have ever done. i have become so close to my host family. my host brother is stealing my heart. he is 4 or 5..and so soo sweet. when we eat dinner he HAS to sit by me. and he holds my hand while we eat. and then the other day i was eating and it was just me and the two kids and he turned to me while i was distracted and kissed me right on the cheek! he's just the sweetest little boy ever, and he's so funny. i am just so thankful i got such a wonderful family :)
my little sister is a student at the school i teach at, and she is so sweet. she would never speak english at home or to me, but when we got into the classroom, she is AMAZING. and understands and speaks so clearly. i love it.
so now we are a lot closer friends :)
what else about my sweet family? my host mom calls me a lot saying "i worry you not eat! you starve!" and "i not home tonight, you will get food okay?"
i always have a warm cup of tea and bowl of soup waiting for me when i get home. it's just so great to have this feeling of being looked after here, they are such sweet people to me :)
my host dad is hilarious. he is going to show me where a gym is this week so i can stop getting fat. i told him i was going to stop eating because i was getting fat, and he told me that wasnt allowed, only i could run...and then eat more after.
these people! they're trying to fatten me up.

anyways, that is all. mostly. i am just so happy to be with these sweet people.

so anyways, i got on that weird tangent. so i dont really remember what i am talking about (plus, i am writing this between two days, so i REALLY dont remember. so i will just continue on with waht happened today

thursday:
i woke up pretty early and planned my lesson ( i was only teaching 10-11) and i was super excited. i was going to teach them the alphabet. one letter a day. and that would be awesome. i had worksheets. i had games. i was so READY! :)
but no, that's not how things go in this program. when you think you are ready, you're not. something throws you for a loop and your world is turned upside down.

we had a new girl added to our class. ugh. we finally had our routine down. the two kids (liza and sasha) loved us. they participated..and i could see that we were going to do really well with the class.
but no. this new girl really threw us for a loop...wanna know why?
SHE WAS ONLY TWO YEARS OLD.
i'm sorry, but it was just not fair. we already have our hands full with the two kids, but throw this BABY into our class and all hell will break loose. what could go wrong, did. she was unruly. kinda one of those kids that if she has something, and you take it away. the world crashes down around her and she wont have anything of that. she'll cry her eyeballs out until she gets what she wants. and it's BAADDD. you think i'm kidding, but i'm not.
you know..when you're at walmart and you see those kids that are screaming at the top of their lungs, and their moms arent wearing any makeup, and they forgot to shower since they gave birth to that little brat?
yeah, times that by 3 and that's this little gem of a girl.
it threw off the groove to the whole class, she would cry, and it would be like a domino effect. she cried. the boy would get angry and start to growl at us. the other girl would get shy..and cry.
it was awful. i just feel like i'm babysitting, but then i'm expected to teach them a different language.

does anyone have any advice for me!?!!?!!?! PLEASE! i need activities..that are easy enough for a 2 year old to do...that doesnt understand the language i am speaking.

i wish you knew how good i am at charades.

anyways, after our hellish lesson, we NEEDED to get out of the school..and find some food that would make us smile. so me and my fellow teachers decided we would set out on the adventure of finding dominoes pizza. so we hopped on the bus that goes in the general direction that we knew it was, and rode our little hearts out. the only problem was, we didnt quite know EXACTLY where it was.
also, seeing as it is FREEZING in this entire country...the windows on the bus are froze over, so it is impossible to see out of. so we were kinda just winging it, which is always the best.
but guess waht? it turned out for the better.

we got off the stop where we thought we were supposed to, then realized it was completely the wrong one..but we thought we could maybe just walk around and get there by walking. so we started our trek. we walked..and walked...aaannnddd walked some more.

the people here are crazy. you know how people set up stands of random things and sell them in a little flea market looking thing? yeah, they have them everywhere. except its LITERALLY two degrees outside. i cant even comprehend what is going on inside of their heads when they decide to do that.
but anyways, i was kinda thankful for it because it gave us something to do while we were looking for our pizza!
so we looked around the stores for a little while, and i was FREEZING so i saw a sign that said "secondhand" so i made them come with me. ohhhh my goodness we were in heaven. it was like tj maxx times a million.
they had really nice brands of clothes, and everything amazing..for suuuper cheap. so we were going crazy trying on clothes, shoes, belts, coats, bags, everything!

it was the greatest thing of our lives.

we stayed there forever...wondering around the store...trying on everything there was in sight. it was amazing. i only ended up coming out with a shirt, but i still had fun. i guess i'm getting comfortable with that baby step, buying things and becoming more confident in this country. soo....dad, what's my next "babystep?" :)
if you say tackling the public transportation, too late! i've been on the bus around and back. i just need to figure out getting to the metro a little better, i guess.
maybe i will do that tomorrow.

so anyways, after trying on a million clothes, i was starting to get hangry, and i was really excited about getting my pizza and pigging out bigtime.
but guess what? we were still lost. what a disappointment. so we walked for a good FOREVER in the freezing cold. by this point i had to pee. i was hungry. i was freezing. it wasnt fun...
so i walked into a random building and pointed to an address near the dominoes pizza and the lady and i played charades for quite sometime to figure out what bus we were supposed to take back.
not to be rude or anything, but she was no help at all.

luckily, we used our heads instead of listening to her and we found the bus stop of the number we took, just going the opposite direction, and took that until we saw dominoes. and let me tell you, the second we saw it we jumped off the bus and RAN to it. it was the greatest day of our lives (at this point..it was like 3:00...we left the school at 12...haha that's how long we were lost..and how much time i had to get HANGRY)
but we made it there. and it was amazing. and they had a worker who spoke english, so he helped us order our half cheese half all meat pizza. i dont think we've ever been so excited in our life...we were americans. eating pizza. after being hangry and freezing forever. it was the happiest moment of our lives.

plus, they had a special. buy a large pizza, get cinnamon bread for FREE. we were all over that. we got our pizza, and our cinnamon bread, and devoured it within about .4 seconds..and then we were all sitting there looking at each other..and i was still starving up to my eyeballs...so i was hoping they were too..but i wasnt going to be the first one to say it. lucky mike was all.. "so..i dont wanna be the fat one but...are you guys still hungry?"
i was so happy! i wanted to leap for joy because i was going to die of hunger. so we decided we were going to go to carlys house and she was going to stay at home and do her homework and me and mike were going to go to the city center and get mcdonalds and hang out up (down, over? i dont know where it is at compared to my location) there...but once we got to carly's house, she realized she didnt want to miss out on the adventure and decided to come with us.

so we ventured out to get on the bus to find the metro to ride to the city center.
that didnt go as well as we had planned it...we got on the right bus..rode it to the right metro stop...and then that's kinda where we lost it...
i want you all to know that for some reason the metro stops are disguised very well. i dont know why they do that to us, but they do. you couldnt find it if it was in a where's waldo book. let alone in a different country. where you can see anything because your eyeballs are frozen. and you dont understand the language.
BUT we lucked out
because at her metro stop, there are a million little tents selling things. and then...there was a huge mall sort of thing..but made out of tents. i dont know what these people were thinking, but it kinda worked out for my benefit.
i dont mean to complain about the weather, because yes. i knew what i was getting into when i chose to come to this country, but i didnt know it would be THIS bad. but you know when you go into those sort of tent things, and you get in the middle and you think, the warmth of the tents, the lack of availability for the wind to find me, and all other crazy ideas you might come up with?
well, too bad for you because you, senor stupid head, are wrong. because the cold WILL find you. and it will be painful.
your fingers and toes will burn because they are so cold. your legs, too.
practically, you're just in so much pain because you are so cold. but, you will have to survive because, that is all you can do.

anyways, we found the jackpot in this little "tent mall"
the second hand store of all second hand stores. i dont think you understand the size of this thing. i wish i wouldnt have forgotten my camera because you would have cried of happiness if you would have seen this place. they had it all.
carly was looking for ski pants because her and a few other people wanted to go skiing next weekend, and she forgot to pack hers...so she found some for like $5.
they had coats galore.
clothes up the yinyang.
underwear, shoes, EVERYTHING.
i didnt even look through the whole store, but i was still out of my mind amazed. i spent most of my time in the coat section, trying 3 of them on at a time trying to warm myself up. i had found a little stand thing that sold tea and hot chocolate, and i tried to order some hot chocolate, and i guess in the midst of me saying "chocolate hot?" she got.."vanilla chi" and just gave me that...who knows. but whatever. all i wanted was a HOT DRINK. and it was actually very delish.

so the workers were all from morocco or something and they came here to study engineering...and they were talking to us and whatever..they were all very cold. but they kept pushing us to buy more and more and all i wanted to do was run away and hide in the worlds hottest room. but that was not possible here. they would not let us leave.
i wasnt wearing my warmest coat because i didnt think i was going to spend this much time in the frozen tundra, so i had to buy another coat just so i wouldnt die on my way home.
i found a cute coat that is my style, and it has fur so i would fit in here! so i got it for like $8..so i was like whatever, i'll do anything to save myself right now. i wish you understood how desperate i was. the other two i was with both bought quite a bit, and FINALLY i was like okay well we are leaving now because i am dying.

then i told them i was still hungry (buy this time it was like..almost 6) and so we got on the bus to go home, and stopped at dominoes (again) and shared cheese bread, chicken strips, and lava cake :) it was divine.

oh, except funny story. mostly, a lot of funny things happened on our adventure. it's just not funny unless you are there...
but we were getting off the bus and it was really crowded so its kinda hard to get off quickly. so first mike got off, and then the driver closed the doors. and i've heard people say something "nyetnyivky" sounding when they wanted to get off, so i start screaming that over and over again and pounding on the doors. luckily some really nice girl yelled to the bus driver and he opened the door and we jumped out before he took us away. :) go me and my awesome russian! hahahahaha

so we ate, and then we dropped carly off at her house, and me and mike went to get on the bus to head back home. the bus took a good 30 minutes to come, and let me tell you. in -3 degree weather. snow. wind. and all the other hardships i face (bwahaha) i was struggling. we were doing anything to keep our mind off the cold. singing. dancing. telling jokes. laughing. being really stupid. it was painful. FINALLY the bus came, but there was no way us both, plus my backpack were going to fit on this bus.

mind you, the bus is not a bus. it's more like a van (okay, it is a van) that people just pile into and pretend like its legit. it's awful....so mike hops on and i figure i'd rather be annoying and squeeze up next to a disgusting smelling ukranian than stand out in the snow and wait for another bus. so on i went. people were so mad at me. but i didnt even care, everyone can suck it because i was happy to be on my way.
so a good 30 minutes passes, and we finally got off. it was like the home run for me. mike was nice enough to walk me home so i wouldnt freeze to death orrr get dead or eaten by dogs or something. it was getting late and dark. so anyways, he walked me home, and then had an hour commute back to his mansion in the forest (it literally has an indoor pool, sauna, it's ridiculous...)
sooo i came home...

my cute host mom shoved food down my throat the moment i walked into the door. she didnt realize that i was about to pee my pants. and i had another problem. i had WAY too many layers on to be able to just run to the bathroom. i was cutting it close, i rand inside and ripped off all my clothes. first my backpack, throwing across the room. then coat #1. then my purse. then coat #2. then my boots. then my sweater. i was getting worried. i didnt think i was going to make it. but dont worry..i made it to the toilet without a dribble of pee coming out prematurely.

anyways, i peed. i ate. i watched tv. and now i am here. go me. my eyes wont stay open. i had wayyy too much fun today :) i cant wait for the adventures ahead of me! what a wonderful life i have.

now go find the joys in your life :) they're there...just open your eyes.

(hey mom, i will tell you before i forget. my host moms brother was over, and was looking at the book of our family pictures, and they asked how old you were, and i told them to guess. they guessed 40. so that better boost your self esteem!)

okay, bye. also, when you feel bad about yourself. read my blog. remember the weather. remember that i ride the bus everywhere, and then get in your car and go for a drive for me :) thank you very much!

baby steps

2012-01-23T15:35:00.000-07:00

today i took one small step to becoming more sustainable and a part of the ukrainian community.

i walked home from school, all by myself.

remember in elementary school when we were so proud of ourselves that first time our parents let us walk home all by ourselves?
it was the proudest moment of my life. i was a part of the "big kid club." i could do anything. i felt cooler, i felt older, i felt like i could take on the world, and nothing would stop me!

well guess what folks, i am reliving that dream.

today was my first day of teaching...and lets just say it went as well as the first day of teaching should go when you're in a foreign country teaching english to kids who expect to be as great as the last teachers.

so this is how my day went

7am. wake up. i didnt want to shower, BUT i didnt shower the two days before. and my hair was starting to hurt...sooo i dragged my fat butt out of bed to get in the shower.
my cute host mom was already awake making me breakfast. she is so sweet, every night she asks me when i wake up so she can get up and make me food. i tried to tell her i can get my own food, but she insists. she is sooo sweet!
so this was the menu: ( i swear..the food here is WAY too amazing) bread with cheese and butter (the three best things all in one) and some sort of gruel (thats what her russian/english dictionary translated it to be...it was delish...practially cream of wheat) and tea...I LOVE THE TEA HERE I WANT TO DRINK IT 24/7. maybe it's because they dont drink water here...or maybe it's because it's freezing and it totally helps...but I LOVE THE TEA HERE. i cant say that enough. it's not like the nasty tea at home.
maybe i was making it wrong, or maybe it's differerent but...
I LOVE THE TEA HERE.
haha, okay..i'm done being annoying.
for now...

so after breakfast (and getting ready) i packed all my stuff up to go get ready for my first day of teaching!
since i brought so many supplies from home, i decided i was going to just bring my rolling suitcase with me and pack everything to the school in that.

i encountered a few problems with this "amazing" plan:
1. when i walked out of my room with my suitcase, my mom thought i hated her and i was moving out.
i had to explain and show to her that it was for the school. she kinda had a heart attack

2. they dont shovel their snow here. so after a fresh snow, it takes a good 24 hours for the snow to get packed down to "sidewalk material" aka...a sheet of ice that is completely dangerous and i shouldnt be allowed to walk on... so anyways...it had freshly snowed last night..to the point of like...3 inches of new snow (on top of the 2 feet we already had) but i was bound and determined to get to the school. with my suitcase.
so on my journey i went...

at first it wasnt so bad. exited my apartment building, and walked down the road where the cars had made tracks.. then i got to the grocery store (my landmark of where i make an abrupt right hand turn, and can see my school in the distance) at this point i was sweating. three pairs of pants?
two shirts? a sweater..AND my coat?!
not to mention my hat and gloves, too.

i was dying.
even worse, i made the mistake of wearing three pairs of THICK socks and trying to wear my normal shoes (i made the fashionable decision of wearing my rain boots today..awesome outfit..not gunna lie)
have any of you actually TRIED to wear that many socks with your normal shoes? it's the worst idea anyone could ever have!
my feet were falling asleep. they hurt so bad i couldnt walk anymore. i was ready to throw in the towel and go back home. but no. i could see the school, nothing was going to stop me now. not even my sweaty brow, and my over-used lungs.

at this point in the journey, there was no more "patted down" snow to walk on (or to roll my extremely huge suitcase on) so..i did what any brave american girl would do in this situation.
i cried.
hahaahahaha just kidding, i didnt.
gosh, i'm not that big of a baby you fools!

i picked up that 50 pound red suitcase filled with construction paper and glue, and i carried it all the way through the snow, not setting it down ONCE so it wouldnt get moldy. i was panting. sweating. cursing every child that would use that construction paper. and then, before i knew it, i had made it. the glorious gate with shoveled sidewalks. it was a success.

so long, dramatic story short...i made it to school.

blah blah blah, i get into the school and start unloading my supplies. the school is a ghost town all the time...its kinda creepy. we just have 3 classrooms in the huge building that nobody else uses..it;s strange...i'll make a video of it someday and show you guys.

so i was unloading my trophy of a suitcase that i had carried all that way...(mind you, i had a backpack while carrying it as well)
none of my group had shown up. we were supposed to be teaching in an hour, and nobody had anything planned out. i figured it would be a disaster, and we'd reconvene tomorrow and figure out what we were actually going to do for the rest of the week.

they showed up, we attempted to plan, but honestly we had no idea what to expect..so we just went for it...and we were blind sighted.

i was so excited to start teaching and meet all the kids.
i made a mistake...wanna know what? it was in the sentence "all the kids"
there were two of them. a girl named liza who is 3 and cried the whole time because she was scared of us. and a boy named sasha who is 5 and he growled at us the whole time. they sat there like frozen statues not moving, not talking just crying and or growling

it was awful.
BUT we whipped out the stickers, and they warmed up to us a bit. so that was an interesting experience.
glad it's over.

so then..we waited..and "prepared" from 11-3. at 1 the school serves us lunch

the menu?: pot stickers with only potatoes inside. aka amazing.
soup. of course. bluh.
bread.
pear juice
i think that was it

we had so much organizing of supplies and such, we didnt have time to even go outside....it was a good time though. we chatted, and got to know each other more

not much happened..
oh except i broke a chair. yup. i did. i was the fat girl that broke the kiddie chair.
it was awkward.
i tried to glue it back with elmers glue, it didnt work. dont ever try it. baaaad idea.

then it was time for our 3 hour block. and let me tell you, THREE HOURS IS A REALLY REALLY LONG TIME.

we got our classes (there are only 5 kids..so we do one big class, and the teachers switch off teaching for 30 minutes each.) and then for the first and last bit of class we sing and go over the days of the week and the weather and everything.

none of us had our lesson planned out. i was frantically searching, and i found an ink pad and paper, so guess what we did? i made them make thumb print people of their families. wanna know the best part? the ink was green. i dont know why but it was hilarious to me.

anyways, i wish i could tell more. but i am going to be honest with you and say this " i am being honest when i say my eyes are closed while i am typing this post.

i am going to bed my friends. tomorrow will be interesting, if only you knew what i have in store for tomorrow! :) okay adios.

comment.

okay thanks bye

i didnt sign up for this...

2012-01-22T14:21:00.000-07:00

i just dont understand whats going on anymore...and honestly. all i want to do right now is pack my bags and come home.

i am having a nervous breakdown, and i havent even started teaching yet. and honestly, teaching is the least of my worries right now. today i had the most traumatic thing in the world happen to me. literally. i almost jumped in front of the train and called it quits.

i learned some things about myself today that were very interesting:
1. i am awful at navigating
2. i am even worse at public transportation
3. i dont do well on my own in big cities
4. no matter how much i though i could speak russian, i cant
5. mcdonalds is a safehaven
6. i need a gps, please

today we decided to go to church as a group, but since i live in CHINA i had to get to the bus, then to the subway, just to meet everyone at the end of the subway line

so then i got to the end. and met a few other people, we somehow found the bus that we were supposed to take and hopped on and rode it. the only directions we had were "get off in front of the 'great wall' car dealership" and walk toward the temple. except there was one problem, the temple is white. and so it snow. trying to find it is kidna like playing where's waldo...impossible.

but luckily on the bus i noticed this girl was reading church literature...so i thought "she is going to church, i will follow her!" so we followed her..and sure enough it took us straight to the church! horray! i was so excited to get there. here's the temple. and me excitd to get to church.

so this is the happy part. yay church. it was so good, we met really nice people, the lessons were good. everything was good.

and here is where my life came crashing down into a million pieces.

going home.

i had no idea where i was going. NO IDEA. someone took me to the right metro line that i was supposed to take, and i had somewhat of an idea as to where i was supposed to get off, but honestly i had no idea where i was, where i was going, how i was going to get home, NOTHING. i had already started panicking. i didnt know what i was going to do. communication between my host parents and me is difficult, especially over the phone, i didnt know how to tell them where i was lost at even.

panic was swelling in my soul.

i started getting light headed.

my stomach was hurting.

i knew i was going to puke.

i just wanted to cry, but i knew i needed to keep my head on straight, and head forward and fake it and to get through it alone.

that wasnt the case.

i got off the metro at the right stop, went up the correct stairs, and then i lost it.

where was i?

i didnt know which bus to take

they all were going different directions

i didnt recognize anything

oh, wait. what is that?

OMG THE HOLY GRAIL

it was mcdonalds.

at that moment, i ran. didnt walk. ran. splashed slushy snow everywhere...but i didnt care. it was my safehaven. something familiar. thats when i just lost it. i sat there not knowing where i was, where i was going, or how i was going to get there. i knew at that moment nothing was going to be okay. i sat there for a good ten minutes pleading with god to send me some sort of angel or else i was marching right back into that metro station and jumping in front of the train, happily.

because ANYTHING was better than being lost in this city. anything.

so after i gained some sort of composure, i called my host dad and told him where i was. our conversation went like this

me: hello!

him: hello mallory, where are you

me: i dont know. the metro stop. at mcdonalds

him: what is mcdonalds?

me: MACDONALDS

him: i dont eknow where you are. what station? elkasdiinsenburgen?

me: i dont know. the station i went to this morning on the bus.

him: you get on the bus?

me: NO. this morning. i go on bus. to metro. red line. i am there.

him: i ehdont understand mallory

me: you hybenshimer shnettleburger!

him: i ehdont understand mallory.

me: i dont know. i am at mcdonalds

(wife in background) oh i ehknow. (then russian talk)

him: okay be there in twenty minutes

i figured it would take at least 30. so i waited.

20 minutes past

and i waited

30 minutes past. and i waited

40 minutes past. and i freaked. i called him...and he said 5 more minutes.

so i waited for 10. then i lost it (again)

okay, truthfully, i had lost it this entire time. i was crying. i was scared. i was freezing. i was alone. i didnt know what to do, except pray.

over an hour past, and then i saw my host dad looking for me. i ran out to him and just started crying, and he didnt understand. i tried to explain that i was lost and i was so scared and this is all i got:

"why you crying? what is escared? why you lost? it not hard mallory"

i gained my composure and leaped through the snow after him, trying with every ounce of my being to not start crying again. he tried to show me where i should have gone to catch the bus, but i didnt understand, then we made it to their car ( i had no idea they had one, but it was a nice one!)

and they showed me where to get on the bus at to go home, and which stop to get off at. and then from there i kinda made mental notes where to walk. the problem is..i live in an area where there are 15 buildings that ALL look the same, but i can figure it out. after today, i feel a lot better. i feel stronger. more confident. i rode the bus! i made it to church! i made it home! the world will not end, just dont forget me in your prayers, please.

i guess today i kept in the back of my mind the real sacrifice that so many people have to go through to go to church every week. two hours one way. $5 in metro, and bus fares. i mean, it adds up. not to mention the amounts of snow we had to trek through to get there.

people are troopers.

oh. another funny story. so this morning, my host mom walked me to the bus stop and shoved me on a bus and said "get off at end! then take metro!"

so i got on the bus, and realized everyone was paying, so i put my money down by the driver and he handed me my change. well the closest open seat was right behind him, so i plopped my bum right down next to him just anxiously looking out the window trying to decide if i could tell where the end would be, without looking too out of place.

then we stopped at a stop, and tons of people got on. all of a sudden money started flying at me from every which way there was. i would grab it, set it next to the driver, he would hand me change...i would hand it back to the person. and it just kept happening. i felt like a local. maybe it was the furry hat that made people think i was one of them? i dont know.

i felt so legit

i cant wait until i dont get lost anymore. or even if i do, i dont freak out, and i can find my way.

as i always say, pray for me tons

yellowbluetibia

2012-01-21T16:06:00.000-07:00

today was an interesting day. my host sister (dasha) walked me to the school, and we met up with some other people to drive us to the other school to meet up with the rest of the group. then we did a whole bunch of pointless talking and training for HOURS. and then we were all starving our faces off so we went to the city center, which is BEAUTIFUL and walked around there and they gave us a mini tour of the center and talked about the buildings...which was very interesting. but it was FREEZING and snowing. and i got all stressed out that someone was going to steal my backpack, so we went to a restaurant, kind of like chuck-a-rama. but i got...the most delicious food in the whole wide world. i got potatoes with onions and cheese and chicken and tomatoes. i wanted to die of happiness, it was the yummiest thing ever made. the bread and cheese here is so amazing, i cant stop eating it. i know i'm going to get fat here, i just know it.

so after we ate, my friend (who i leave "close" to) had her host sister come and pick us up and take us home. i feel like such a baby because i cannot do anything on my own. i am scared to even go outside by myself haha. i cant even look at someone without getting embarrassed. maybe it's the coat i wear around. everyone laughs at me. but i dont even care, it is the warmest marshmallow i've ever had on my body. and i love it. but all the women here wear very nice clothes, and heels. and NOBODY leaves the house without some sort of fur accessory. so i need to get me a fur coat or something so i can stop embarrassing myself. seriously though, it's embarrassing. but i'm pretty sure the fact that i'm an american that walks around following an 8 year old girl is more embarrassing than not having a fur coat or fury boots....oh well.

okay so after when we rode the subway, i met my family at a stop and we rode the subway together to go to my host mom's brothers house for his birthday celebration. and let me tell you, ukrainians know how to CELEBRATE.
i met a lot of very nice, very interesting people there. there was a boy about my age who was studying international relations in the university here, so he speaks english, which was SO nice. so i talked with him...and he was very sweet, kinda shy. but i made him translate everything for me. and then i sat next to this other guy and girl who spoke english pretty well, and they asked me a lot about salt lake (they all know it because of the olympics) and about my family, and my school, and why i decided to come here..and then they tried to teach me russian (i dont remember a thing) and then they tried to teach me ukrainian (which is actually a very pretty language)
so everyone was very nice. we ate dinner, and had cake and then we played poker. i was so tired though, but i was having a lot of fun talking with them. then my host parents sent me home with their brother because i was tired, and my sister came with me, and so we came home and he dropped us off...and then they stayed. who knows if they'll ever come home.

tomorrow we are going to attempt to go to church, which is a two hour excursion...so i have to wake up at 7 to get ready, and then at 8 my host sister is going to take me to the bus, and then show me the metro stop that i meet my friend at. and then we are going to take the subway all the way to the church (for an hour) and then we have to take a 30 minute bus ride from there to the church...

so wish me luck
this is the first time i will be riding the public transportation...and i have to do it alone! but i have my russian phrase book, and a cell phone..so i think i will be okay...let's hope! hahaha...

eek. i kinda just have to take everything as an adventure, and i have been, and i am loving it! the snow is wild. walking in the snow is even worse. and the fact that my feet dont fit into any of my shoes because i wear so many layers of socks is outta control, but i wouldnt want it any other way...except for maybe if i was on a beach...
and if everyone spoke english...

but that would be in a perfect world. and i like my imperfect one a lot better. it's more hilarious.

except, i start teaching on monday. i still have no idea what i'm teaching...so that will be interesting. i guess we'll find out on monday! i am not worried though. all you have to do is be super animated and talk a lot..that cant be too hard, right?

bahh!

anyways, here's some pictures so you understand what's going on here :)

p.s. i learned how to say "i love you" in russian. and it's "yellowbluetibia" so feast yourselves on that masterpiece! :)

the eagle has landed.

2012-01-20T09:24:00.000-07:00

руддщк акщь еру дфтв ща глкфшту!

i wish i could pretend like i knew what that said, or if that said anything. but what i would like it to say is...
hello from the land of ukraine!

:)

is that weird to think about for you guys? that i'm actually here..because it is for me. but anyways. here is my take on everything right now.

-dont sleep for 4 days before you go on long flights. you wont get too bad of jet lag, and you'll sleep like a baby on every flight you go on.

- study up on a language before you go somewhere. it might help you.

- people in ukraine never stop feeding you. ever.

- when they say it's snowy in ukraine. it's SNOWING. hard. and winding in your face. and painfully cold. (winding= fierce winds. that blow snow in your face so you cant see)

- listen to them when they tell you it's cold outside. because if a ukrainian says it's cold, IT'S COLD.

- "close" to them means at least 30 minutes..either walking, subway, or with the metro. so when they say something is far, dont even think about going there.

- for some strange reason, my lips were swollen when i woke up this morning. and they were painfully dry. i wanted to cry they hurt so bad. and i have been piling on the chapstick, but it makes it burn. SOMEONE TELL ME WHY THIS IS HAPPENING.

- they pull their kids around on sleds. why did i never think about this? best.idea.ever.

okay, so i guess you wanna know about my host family, and everything else well, here you go.

i live with the cutest family ever, and the very sweetest. there is a mom, a dad, and two kids: dasha and igor. dasha is 8 and igor is 4. to tell you the honest truth, i'm not sure if these are their names. but that's what i've picked up from our broken and extremely painfully awkward conversations.

the dad speaks the most english, and it's very hard to communicate. i tried asking if i could get a key to the apartment just in case i came home and nobody was here. yeah, he didnt understand. it was awkward trying to explain it for 10 minutes and then just saying nevermind. yesterday he took me to the market, which is just a small version of a grocery store here. it was fun! i mean, it was nothing really new here. except he asked me what i wanted to eat and i told him sandwich stuff, and he laughed and told me to go to mcdonalds for that...it was awkward.

ukranians are very blunt and straightforward. kinda sometimes it makes me feel stupid, but whatever. i'm used to it.

the mom is very nice. she tries very hard to speak english to me and asks me a lot of questions. both the parents work..she is advertising for a publishing company..and he is a sea captian..or something. i dont really know. it's hard to communicate..i'm not going to lie.

what else, the kids are cute. i think they're scared of me. they just run away and dont look at me.

i'm not going to lie. this whole set up is kinda awkaward. but i am lucky and have my own room. and internet. and today after meeting with my group we shared horror stories, and i am most def one of the luckier ones.

the boy in our group lives with one boy. he's 25...and only has one leg. he wasnt given a blanket to sleep with, and has to share a room with him. he says it's awful. and his "host brother" said he was going to sell him for prostitution. awkward.

also, there were other horror stories, but i am just happy i dont have to be apart of that..for the most part.

i do have a pet mouse in my room. i dont know it's name, but i call it fluffy. it's grey, and super...fluffy. and cute :) except for the cancerous tumor on it's face, i dont know what that's all about. but it's weird and gross. so i dont touch it. only poke it with a pencil.

what else, umm...today i made pretty good friends with everyone in my group. i like them all a lot. me and this one girl totally bonded today, well me and everyone kinda did. but me and her just couldnt stop laughing about this whole situation called "we're in ukraine and it's really scary and awakrd here"

so lets talk about teaching. i am scared out of my mind. but excited. i think (actually, i know) it will take a while to get used to. but i am excited. i start on monday morning (which is sunday night for ya'll) so make sure you pray for me.

okay, pray for me about everything, not just teaching. this place is really scary, and cold, and confusing, and the city is HUGE. so just..pray. a lot. i would appreciate it. i dont think i've prayed this much in my entire life.

i cant rembember what i've told you. umm...yesterday we picked up the little boy from daycare and they have a room dedicated for your winter cloths in every building. you have a change of clothes there so you dont have to wear your winter clothes. and i guess you're supposed to bring slip on shoes or slippers to wear when you get to a place (like school, or houses, or museums)

um. this might gross you out, but the amount of boogers my nose is producing is ridiculous. i feel stupid because i have to pick my nose sometimes because you know when it starts to hurt? and you jsut have to get them out. yeah, i had to do that. and i got awkward looks. but i dont care because i had to...and i dont know anyone here.

i kinda feel invisable here. like nobody can see me, and i'm just in some sort of interactive movie where i'm not really here...just pretending. like a dream! haha.

when people talk to me i just smile, and they look at me funny. i found out smiling is socially unacceptable. who woulda thought! but i dont know waht else to do! i cant reply! so i will continue doing my own thing...pretending like i belong here.

my dad told me before i came that there will be baby steps that help me become like i fit in here. step one is to buy your first thing. i have yet to do that. i dont even step foot outside my house unless i HAVE to. this will come. i think step two will be to find out where the subway station is, and to have the guts to get on. luckily they gave us all cell phones so we can call eachother or our host families and get help if we are lost. that makes me feel a looot better.

hmm waht else. everyone that speaks russian sounds so angry! i love it! it's actually a very beautiful language. i am trying to catch on to some key phrases.

all i've picked up is da da da. which i feel like means "yeah"...but that's just what i'm thinking. i honestly have no idea. pretty much 99% of the time i have no idea waht's going on, and i just trust that someone does. it's quite the adventure, that's for sure!

i could never be happier to be somewhere, even though it's the scariest thing i've ever done, i know this will be the adventure and experience of a lifetime! :) i cant wait!
please please dont forget about me! :( and say many prayers on my behalf. i need them!

pictures will come soon...once i can get my own computer hooked up to the internet.

фвшщы ьн акшутыю ьфн еру ащксу иу цшер нщг
adios my friends. may the force be with you :)

panic and denial

2012-01-13T11:17:00.001-07:00

hi. i dont know if you forgot about me, but i still exist. and i am still doing that really crazy thing called moving to the ukraine for 5 months. except, wanna know the funny part?
i leave on wednesday. yeah, like...this upcoming one.
as in...i have 4.5 days on this planet i like to call america.

and i'm living in denial.
i dont like to think about the fact that i havent even started packing.
or the fact that i can barely say hello in russian.
or the face that i am moving to the frozen tundra.
or that i'm leaving everything i know to be alone in this scary place doing something really scary that i have no idea how to do.
or the fact that i'm going to miss my older sister coming home...whom i havent seen in a year and a half.
or the fact that i'm missing easter...valentines day..presidents day..ryan's birthday...memorial day..st patricks day..and all the other days.
there's a lot of facts that i'm stressing hardcore about. and i just wanna cry.

is it bad that i already feel alone...and i havent even left yet?

:(

the worst part is. everyone's encouraging words make it WORSE. stop telling me i'm going to be okay. i know i will. just let me stress out because i'm doing something really scary!
we all know how much i hate the unknown. and literally...this whole thing is the unknown. i found out yesterday that i'm leaving wednesday. i dont know who i'll be living with...what to expect...NOTHING.
literally.

my eyeballs are going to fall out from crying so much. all i want are a million hugs. no words. just hugs.

:(

in other news.....

:))))))))))))))))))))))))

my birthday dinner :)

he's back! :) whaat!

i also cut my own hair. i wouldnt recommend it to anyone.

i dont know what i was thinking...it was a good idea at the time. i was practicing! i didnt wanna trust a crazy eastern european to cut my hair, so i thought i would just do it myself.

bad idea.

i trust them over myself any day.

love this. it will be my life for the next 6 months. :)

also, this was pretty legit. it's not making me feel any better though. i'm still freaking out.

mehhhhhhh.

The Kiev Live - Timelapse from Oleg Finger on Vimeo.

the big announcement

2011-12-05T18:32:00.000-07:00

HELLO TO EVERYONE THAT IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD.

and since i am so popular and everyone reads my blog, i decided that i was going to exclaim my wonderful news to the world of my blog! :)

I, Mallory Denison, am moving the the Ukraine for 6 months to teach English to the cutest freaking children you will ever see.

yeah, i'm not kidding. i'm being totes serious. and i am leaving in ONE FREAKING MONTH! this is the most exciting thing that i have ever even said in my entire life. this has been my dream, and the opportunity has finally arose! i didnt sign up for school, i didnt want to be at my job any more. and i didnt know what i was going to do with myself. not even kidding i was having a panic attack.

so anyways. in one day my life plans for january decided to change all in one day. my mom found the program, i applied, had my interview, and got accepted all within one day.

so...this is my plea to you. visit this website:
http://www.gofundme.com/az7wo
and donate money to the children. literally, all i need is $600. and this will change not only my life, but it will give these kids something that they will benefit from for their entire life. so even $5 will help.

so i'm sure you wanna know the low down on this program, and what i'll be doing, and how long i'll be there and all that jazz. so let me answer all your questions.
i will be teaching English to elementary aged children. I will be in Kiev, Ukraine. living with a host family. i leave in january and come back in june. i will be teaching (...no i'm not getting paid for this) monday-friday and loving every second of it. i plan all my own lessons, and all the lessons are very interactive and fun for the kids (and mostly me because we know how much i love to play)

so anyways. if you want to know more about the program, visit http://www.ilp.org/ and you will learn all the things that will want you to help these adorable children.

now watch this awesome video and see the wonderful land of ukraine that i will be living in! :) I LOVE YOU AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR HELPING ME!

stopppp!

2011-11-17T13:38:00.000-07:00

i think people are mean. and i think it needs to stop.

i dont know why it's bugging me so bad that people are ragging on the "occupy wall street protesters" but i would like to see it stop. like now.

guess what? they have opinions.
guess what? they want change.
at least they are doing something about it.

all the rest of you that see a problem and think there is nothing you can do about it, or you dont care enough to try to make changes are the worst of them all.
change is slow. and it's hard. and nothing will ever be perfect. but shouldnt we all be striving towards a better world? shouldnt we all want to make our mark on the world for the better, and say that we tried. who cares if protesting doesnt work. or if they're being crazies. it's something they're passionate about. and they want change.

nobody thought women should have the right to vote. people threw rocks at them. had them put in prison. told them they were fighting for a pointless cause and they should accept the fact that life is the way that it is, and to just accept it.
but guess what? they didnt stop. they fought until the end..and made their voice heard. because it was something they were passionate about. and guess what's even cooler? IT WORKED.
it was a looonnngg time coming, but it did. and i wish that i show the same determination and passion about the current issues (which, coincidentally we still have womans equality issues..what the heck)
but anyways. i dont get peoples problems and why they have to be so mean.

if you dont agree...then do what you want to change it. but you dont have to be rude to people for what they care about. because i think this is exactly what this country needs.
since when did everyone stop caring, and think they dont have a say in anything that happens to them?
guess what. you can change it. just look at the threethousandmillion examples of it in freaking history. YEAH THAT'S RIGHT.

now stand up. and make your picket sign. and head to washington dc. becasue we gunna make a change.

and while we're at it. and we stop world hunger, poverty, and make peace with everyone?
mkay thanks.

oh, and also give me thirteen million dollars :)

i have a problem...

2011-11-17T00:26:00.000-07:00

you guys. i dont mean to rain on everyones parade buuttt...

i.dont.get.it.

what is the deal with everyone's OBSESSION with mustaches?!

1. they're not cool. or funny. they never were. so stop trying to make them cool OR funny. IT'S NOT!
2. they are creepy. they creep me out. i think you're going to rape me if you have one. and i automatically dont feel like talking to you because you bug me.
3.STOP trying to be hipster. you're not.

but i'm not even going to lie. the thing that bugs me the most is EVERYTHING on pinterest that is a mustache thing. oh hi. let me paint mustaches on my fingernails.
oh, what? you need a bandaid? well i have a mustache one.
oh dont worry about it. my coffee mug has a mustache on it because i'm just that cool.

i see mustache combs, mustache pillows, mustache rings. literally. you name it, and there is probably a mustache thing of it.

so anyways. boo on them, they can just go be creepy and drive around in their creepy van and take candy to little kids. and be creepy. and annoy the living daylights out of me.

BUT. dont think i will be nice to anyone that tries to talk to me while having one of those things on their face. not.going.to.happen.

in other news.

a woman found jesus on a cliff in ireland. silly goose. what was he doing all the way over there!?

that's the picture. i feel like i'm playing a weird game of eye spy or connect the dots when i try and see it.

i wish i could find jesus in something.
oh my gosh. i just had the greatest idea ever made by my brain. i'm going to make a huge pile of clothes in my room and make it look like a manger and then like sculpt the inside to make it look like baby jesus.
then i'm going to sell it for twelve million dollars and be super rich and famous.

yesssssss.

anyways. wanna read the article of this gem of a lady? GO HERE NOW! you'll be sure to not regret the time wasted while reading that.

confusion

2011-11-08T10:06:00.000-07:00

okay. i guess i'm going to get a little serious here, because i feel like it.

but let me say somethings before i do that:

today i am getting my hair cut. it's about time. i'm not going to lie, i have a full on mullet. on purpose, of course, but it's getting gross. mostly disgusting. but anyways, that's besides the point. today i was depressed because i wanted a pony tail for once. it's been 14 months since i've had one! or even since i've had a part in my hair. weird weird weird. so anyways, i got excited because today was the last day in a long time i could even attempt that.

so guess what!? I DID IT. I GOT MY HAIR INTO A PONY TAIL! :)

it's quite a sad attempt at a pony tail, but i got it done nonetheless.

okay. i think that's all the important things i have to say. now onto my regular topic.

LIFE IS STUPID AND CONFUSING.

i dont know who made this rule, but college is the time you have to make every single life decision you'll ever make and it's really stupid i think. and i just kinda wish someone will tell me what to do. i'm stressing hard. about everything. school. work. life in general. its weird how fast things change i decided. i thought i had everything mapped out. i would go to school. be there for 3 years. be a teacher. have a direct career path. blah blah blah. but then that changed into me doing business. and becoming an event planner and being really awesome. but then that changed into I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I WANT TO DO AND I WANNA HIDE IN THE CLOSET AND CRY.

but anyways. i'm over it. mostly what's going on now is..i applied to the U.
i'm looking for a new job up in the slc. (if you know of anyone hiring...let me know!?)
i...think that's all. i'm going to LAS VEGAS this weekend with some wonderful friends i work with. and the boyf :) and i'm exciteeeddd. it will be w.o.n.d.e.r.f.u.l. and warm..hopefully. i'm already sick and tired of the cold. and having frost on my car errymorning. BOO ON SNOW.

anyways. i hope everyone is happy and bright :) anndd full of good advice for me.

things that i like.

2011-10-16T10:38:00.001-06:00

i like a lot of things. i like being happy. soooo...i have compiled a list of things that make me really really happy. :)

1. chocolate chip pancakes.
2. having a clean bedroom. which doesnt happen often enough :/
3. cloud watching.
4. this guy. :)

5. also, probably these people:

6. heads up 7 up.

7. really awesome songs that make you all nostalgic.

8. doing funny crafts

9. pinterest

10. puppies.

11. colorful rainbow-y things

12. chocolate ice cream. okay, actually chocolate everything.

13. glittery things

14. shopping. shopping. shopping. shopping.

15. tina fey.

16. zumba :)

17. no.more.school.

18. wearing dresses.

19. smelly good boys.

20. buying stuff.

21. panda bears

22. babies

23. hahahahahahahahahahahaha. this kid.

anyways. those things are great. and so am i.

okay well i suppose i'll give you a little life update (like there is anything to update on)

school sucks and is stupid. but i'm just ya know...getting through. i think i need to take a little break. i cant handle it right now. i get really bugged by everyone there. i feel like i am surrounded by 4 year olds all the time and they have no common sense.

good thing i'm the smartest person in the entire world and i know everything and am superior to everyone.

:) hahaaa.

okay. work...i dont wanna talk about it. if you catch my drift.

anyways. i'm tired and have a millions of homeworks and laundry to do. UGH.

finalllyyy.

2011-09-07T10:18:00.000-06:00

what? i do things like write blogs still?

yes. sometimes. so here's a little treat for ya'll...my life update! :) also, some other thoughts about things that annoy me.

okay..where to start? school? mkay. so school started. i'm almost 2 weeks in and already i can tell i'm in over my head. but it's a good thing. i am taking 5 classes (two online) and the other three are CLASSES FROM HELL.
okay, truth is they are all from hell. nobody told me business was really really hard! but i love it :) i feel like i'm actually learning something, instead of playing games and taking the easy way out with elementary ed.

besides the whole buying books and paying tuition thing, i am happy with school! oh, and the weird creepy boys that try talking to me. i've become overly antisocial.
ONE of my 5 books costs $200. ONE BOOK. the other ones are almost as bad. booo. anyone wanna contribute to the "mallory works her butt off and doesnt wanna spend twelve million dollars on books" fun..that's totally fine with me.

work.

welllll i dunno who knows this and who doesnt (if you dont, you're obviously a really bad friend...) anyways..i got a new position at work! i am now the very prestigious financial assistant. GO ME!
what does that mean? it means i sit at a VERY awkward desk and talk on the phone all day and be nice to people and harass the bank until they fund all the deals we send them. it's a pretty intense job, but i love it!

the guy i work for is awesome, and i get paid more...so those are all good things! i work wayyy too much though, so trying to balance school and work is going to be tough but i can do it! because guess what our new family motto is?

"DENISONS CAN DO HARD THINGS! " all the hard things.

that's courtesy of my mother. if you ask me it's a little provocative. but whatever.. i just do what my mother says.

okay what else? oh i moved into a house in orem. it's a giant really super nice house and i love it. i have my own room. and a tv in my room. what does this mean? i lay in my bed alll the time and watch tv. that's another thing i have to be careful about. if i dont watch myself i'll be one of those people that wakes up one morning weighing 700 pounds and all i can do is eat and watch tv.

i dunno though..sometimes that kinda sounds like fun.

okay, too much happiness. it's time to complain.

am i the only one in the entire world that doesnt understand the english language?! seriously, i had an angry panic attack today during work because i think i missed like 12 years of grammar lessons.
i understand the basics..you know, verb, noun, pronoun, adjective, conjunction, interjection, how to write a sentence that makes sense. whatever. but then you get into these difficult, wordy things that i have NO IDEA what you're talking about.
past participle
conditionals
predicate
preposition
infinitive
past perfect continuous
reduced relative clause
etc. etc. etc.
WHAT THE HECK ARE ALL THOSE THINGS.

i really feel stupid sometimes because people will go on and on and on and onnnnn about all the things, and my brain just turns off when i hear any words that have to do with grammar. i cant handle it.

which is weird, because i'm kinda obsessed with writing and editing and such but grammar is just WAY tooo much for me.

and not to be rude or anything, but the last thing i want from this post is for some smartypants (aka you dad) to comment with the definitions of all those things. i'll probably get really angry and write some sort of hate mail to you.

i have more things to complain about...but i should probably get back to work. so expect an angry post about ring back tones and hold music some day :)

Fish and fiber one

2011-07-29T01:16:00.002-06:00

To everyone in the world that thinks I am a big fat loser that sits around and paints my nails and goes shopping, and never does anything adventurous. I have proof that I am. PROOF!

Granted, I love going shopping. In fact, I am more addicted to shopping then you would even believe. Just look at my bank account and you’ll see. But we’ll save that story for later, when I’ve gotten a hold of this problem. I HAVE A PLAN. It’s called a budget. I just wanna cry that I am off shopping for a while. But this is beside the point of my adventurous story of me!

1. The past TWO weekends, I have spent in the mountains. With the wilderness. And I actually really liked it!

2. i.went.fishing. don’t believe me? Well it’s true. And it was exciting. And I really liked it a lot. And guess what? I CAUGHT A FISH. Yes I did. And it was a beauty. Okay, I don’t really now, but it was a fish! And it was bigger than my foot!..Or probably it was the same size as my foot. But anyways, it doesn’t matter because it was a fish!

So, wanna know the story? ;) okay, I’ll tell you.

So it’s my first time fishing ever. I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m just throwing that pole around like it’s nobody’s bidness, and having the time of my life. I refused to put sunscreen on, because it was the first time all summer that my legs had seen the sun (this was a mistake. BIG BIG MISTAKE) so. Fishing. We’re having a grand ol’ time, even though nobody is catching anything. Then everyone leaves, so it’s me and breck standing there holding our fishing poles. Then I SWEAR I felt a fish bite my little hook, so I start screaming and jumping around and reeling it in, and me and breck have NO idea what we’re doing, and we’re freaking out because I know I’ll have to touch it if I end up really having a fish, and I just don’t have enough adventure in my heart to go THAT far.

Anyways, there were these two boys just down the lake from us, and they were so cute! So they come running towards me trying to see what I had caught, but low and behold it was a STICK. So I was all disappointed, but kinda relieved. And the two boys were so concerned about me. It was sweet. But anyways, we all went back to fishing, and continued to catch NOTHING. So as we’re all standing there just a fishin’ one of the boys just down from us starts FREAKING out. Like big time freak out. Like bigger then you would believe. And he’s taking off his socks and shoes, and screaming and crying and rolling up his pants, and we’re all concerned about him that he’s going to jump into the freezing cold lake and we’d have to go save him. So my mom was like mallory, go see what’s wrong. And I was like “NO! I DON’T KNOW HOW TO HELP PEOPLE!” and so finally I walk over there all apprehensively and ask them what’s wrong. By this time the kid is in the water getting soaking wet, and trying to move all these heavy rocks. Then I figure out that the thing that holds the fish after you catch them (a..stringer? I don’t know fishing lingo) anyways. He had a fish on it, and it slipped into the water and got stuck under a rock and he couldn’t get it out. So I’m standing there all awkwardly trying to figure out how in the world I could help. And holding a big stick. Because he said he wanted a big stick, but wouldn’t take it from me. Then all of a sudden, magic happened.

HIS POLE STARTED TO RUN AWAY (because it was set on the ground) and I thought it was just the wind so I was like oh no! and picked it up, and then I was like…oh shut up. Oh my gosh. There is a fish on this thing! So they kid is like cheering for me. I’m screaming my lungs out, doing the scared-y cat dance. And the other little kid is standing next to me telling me to reel faster and faster. So I do. and I was a fishing CHAMPION. And I reeled that fish in like nobody’s business! And then I saw it. the fish. Freaked me out. So I start screaming more, and they try to convince me to touch it, but I made the little kid do it because it was big and floppy and scary.

So then my mom runs over, takes a picture and I walk away feeling like a million bucks.

And that is my story of how I caught my first fish. Like a champion.

Have any of you guys made this mistake; I call it the fiber one bar mistake.

Some people may call it the fart bar.

Death bars.

Satan’s magic potion.

Whatever you may call it, it’s the mistake where you think you need to be healthy and consume some more fiber, so you head over to your local grocery store and you buy all the boxes of fiber one bars in the world, because they’re tasty and full of fiber!

So after you make this purchase of chocolatey brownie bars that are only 90 calories, and full of promises to make you feel better because you’re eating so much fiber, you go home and have a strange craving for something chocolate, but you don’t want to feel fat so you head straight over to your fiber one bars! And you’re so excited! Because as you start eating it, you feel so cool. It’s a healthy(ish) chocolatey thing, that tastes actually really REALLY good! And life is wonderful, and you want to hug all the babies in the world and plant a million flowers to make the world a beautifuler place.

Then you continue your day as normal.

Three hours pass. And you’re with your friends now. And POW POW POW. You have been hit by Satan and his magic fiber one potion.

Your stomach is cramping. You can’t breathe. You have more air in your insides then you ever thought was possible. And somehow, your stomach is making awful jolting feelings, and you’re not exactly sure how to respond. You can’t rip a big one, because you’re with your friends! And that’s just not accepted in all cultures, but you know you cannot take one more step with this condition. So you lie on the ground and seize up and writhe there in pain for a while, and you finally decide farting will make you feel twelve million times better, so you’d rather lose your dignity then your life.

You fart. And you’re so happy. For about 6 seconds, until it happens again!

Oh and wait, this doesn’t just last for 10 minutes. It lasts ALL FREAKING DAY. And there is no escaping it. No covering it up. Tears wanna stream out of your eyes and you don’t want to talk to anyone. Unless they have a cure for your major intestinal issues. But nobody does. And trust me, I tried googling it. their best advice? Lock yourself in your bedroom and don’t let ANYONE near you. :/ kinda hard when you’re at work…isn’t it?

I know you have all made this mistake, my problem is..I NEVER LEARN.

finding your hiding place.

2011-06-30T23:11:00.000-06:00

aight my friends. with the craziness of life, and all the things that make you want to crawl in a hole and DIE about. i have advice. well maybe not advice, but i have my story. and it's pretty lame. but i just feel like i wanna talk about it. and since i have lost all my verbal communication skills in life, this is the only way i convey my important thoughts.

anyways. my hiding place. i like to pretend like getting there is the hardest thing in the world. and i like to pretend i hate every second of being there, but in reality..i wish i was there all the time. ALL the time. anyways. this place is called the gym. golds gym. i like that the moment i walk in those doors i know NOBODY and i can put my headphones in and listen to my music as loud as i want and sing along and run until my legs turn to jello and i fall off the back of the treadmill.

forever and everrr it was the biggest chore to get me there. the only reason i went was because i spent so gosh darn much money on it that by golly i was not about to let it go to waste! but the more i go, the more i LOVE running. and lifting weights. and zumba-ing until my butt falls off.

so then i was thinking. if everyone had their hiding place that they could spend 2 hours a day just doing there thing..everyone would be a LOT happier. so that's my goal. well besides stop being fat. is to allow myself ME time. especially when school starts. i'm so terrified that i am going to lose it and go on some crazy outrage of fire breathing anger and stress. so hopefully i wont die. and my eyes wont fall out of my head. but hey, one can only hope.

anyways. find your happy (or hiding) place. and i hope hope hope it's the gym because i promise you endorphins are gods gift of magic happy juice. and you'll love it.

i want everyone to know this

2011-06-22T12:07:00.000-06:00

i am going to be a big deal. dont believe me? just wait and see :)

i changed my major. and no, not to peace and justice studies. i've been struggling a lot with the whole elementary education stuff. i was embarrassed about what i was doing. i wasnt comfortable when student teaching, and i was petrified of my future. i didnt want that lifestyle. i didnt want to be a teacher for the rest of my life. i knew i'd be happy, and good at it, but it just wasnt exactly what i wanted. so what did i do? i changed it! because guess what? I DO WHAT I WANT! :)

and i couldnt be more excited about this new path. trust me. it's going to be twelve gazillion times harder. and i'm pretty positive i might be in way over my head. but also, guess what? i'm going to do it! and i'm going to freaking dominate.

okay okay. i know you guys are all dying to know what exactly i changed it to. and so here's the big surprise.

business management. WITH an emphasis in hospitality management.

:D
that's me. smiling. because i am so THRILLED.

these are the things i am most excited about it:
i feel like i'll meet a LOT of really cool people.
i get to work with people.
i am going to have so many possibilities! i have the freaking world at my fingertips! and it's going to be so wonderful. because i'm going to dominate.
i feel like i'm going to be really good at it. (not to be cocky or anything, but i am pretty much good at everything in the whole wide world. and i know you all would agree with me)
i am going to show up every single boy in that entire program with my awesomeness and smartness.
i can finally fulfill my lifelong dream of being an event planner! (and no. i didnt say wedding planning. never will i ever say wedding planning.)
umm. i am excited about a lot of other things, but mostly that's all i can think of.

but you guys should be excited for me too. because when you all decide to throw a huge party and dont feel like planning it, you're going to call me and then i'll turn it in to a kick-butt event of the century. and you'll pay me twelve million thousand dollars because you'll be so happy.

also, wanna know what else has been going on?

i got a spray tan. and it was beautiful. i was a beach goddess for a good week! but now i look like a diseased fool. :) my favorite thing in the world

i am still obsessed with chocolate. i think it's a weird disease i have. it's like the hip hop fever...only worse.

remember how excited i was that they changed the radio station at work? well i spoke too soon. first, they changed it back to 70's folk. then 80's rock. and now it's elevator music from HELL. seven out of the seven hours i'm here during the day i want to die. and take a gun and shoot the speakers. that's how much i hate it. so i decided something. they should let me be the boss of this place..and the DJ.

umm. there's a boyfriend in the picture. and no, he's not imaginary.

i need a vacation. i wish i could go outside of the america, but unfortunately i dont think i could afford it, and i dont have a lot of days off of work to do it. but anyways. does anyone have hookups for me to stay on someones couch while i get out of utah, i would be eternally excited.

what elseeee...i dont think there are any more updates on my life. pretty sure it's completely mundane and consists of a lot of looking out the window...sitting in a chair..and sometimes answering phones...
this is the life!

the fish fiasco

2011-06-07T14:06:00.000-06:00

Hello. Everyone in the world and their dog should know that I not only hate fish, I DESPISE them. I am so scared of them. My hands start to sweat when I see an aquarium. I get a lump in my throat just thinking about having to be in the same water as them. Swimming in a lake? No thanks. Snorkeling in exotic waters? NEVER.

I think it's a disease I have.

Anyways, back to the fish fiasco.

One of my very prestigious jobs at work is to feed the fish. No, they're not cute little gold fish or baby beta fish. They're SATAN fish. Literally. One of them eats all the other fish. And the other ones are just scary and mean and try to kill me every time I stick my hand in the tank to feed them. It's a disaster. And I have to endure this alone! Every morning I stand in front of the tank for about 5 minutes thinking about how awful the event of feeding the fish is. Then I pour the food into the little measuring cup, and take a step towards that awful tank. I hurry and stick my hand in the little opening and dump all the food in that I can before having a severe anxiety attack and fainting in front of all the customers. It's awful, let me tell ya.
Anyways, today was no different. I get ready to feed the fish, and all of a sudden realize that ONE OF THEM IS HALF EATEN. Yes. The evil oscar fish ate this poor guys fins! So he cant swim at all, and he's just left there. To die. Or to get eaten. Whichever one happens first. I screamed and ran away and told everyone, but dont worry. This isn't the only awful catastrophe that happened today with these fish. I'm feeding them, and realize there is a plastic thing on the top for the..high water or something. I have no idea. Anyways, I pushed the top of the aquarium off so I could find a hole to pour the food into, but I was nervous so I got one of the girls in the back to help me..and then there was a customer standing there kinda helping us/mostly just watching me scream my guts out about these nasty nast fish.
so. I feed the fish. All is dandy and well, but i'm resting my hand on the top of the thing while it's still open. (is this making sense or am I just talking nonsense?) anyways, this guy that was watching us decides he wants to tell me that the oscar fish will jump out of the tank if he gets the chance and I should be careful, so I ran away..and I was already spooked because the thought of a fish jumping out of the tank and slapping me in the face kept running through my head, and I hated it. So he laughs and someone made a really loud noise, and so I freaked out because I thought it was the fish jumping or something (because apparently in my head jumping fish sounds somewhat like a cow giving birth? Who knows what goes on in my brain. But I was scared, okay!?) so I run across the room screaming my bloody guts out because I thought it was trying to attack me.
And then I got embarrassed because everyone in the whole entire freaking dealership was there and saw my panic attack about the fish. But I swear, you'd scream too.

Anyways, now that everyone knows about my fish fear people make fun of me all the freaking time! It's not my fault, okay?! I cant help that fish are the second scariest things on the planet earth!
So. there you go. The story of how I almost died by a fish attack. I have more of them, actually. Like this one time..me and my mom and abigail (the lil sis) were in florida just swimming along in the ocean having a grand ol' time, when BAM. My mother starts screaming her guts out, declaring that her toe had been eaten off by a gigantic fish with saber tooth tiger teeth. Yeah, freaked the CRAP out of me, so I start running towards the shore because the last thing i'm going to do is get eaten alive by a flesh eating fish. Abigail grabs me because she knows how scared I am, and it took me like 45 minutes to get waist deep in the ocean, so there was no way she was going to start over again trying to get me in the water. My mom is screaming in pain, abigail is screaming at her to stop so I wont be so scared, and i'm on top of the boogie board crying out of terrifiedness. It was all together a bad situation, and people probably thought we all had severe handicaps...but truth be told, we do. :)
anyways, point of these stories? Fish suck. And they're scary. And mean. And flesh eating. So dont trust them. EVER.

riuahfndalk

2011-06-05T22:11:00.000-06:00

i cant think of what to say 99% of my life. i have about 170000 hours of free time at work, so if i wanted to, i could write my opinions on every topic on the world, but guess what? I CANT THINK OF ANYTHING TO SAY. everr. i think my brain stopped working, and now the only thing that it can think of is food and the weird dreams i have. and trust me, they're super weird. i wish i could remember them more than just weird bits and pieces about midgets attacking me, or the clouds spelling weird things to me, but you know...my brain wont ever do what i want it to.

so i'm not sure if i told anyone this, and quite frankly i am way too lazy to look at my future posts and read what i've said and what i havent, so you might get to relive the amazing stories of my wonderful life! you lucky duck, you.

mmkay. so i work at larry miller in provo. i answer phones, make spread sheets, run errands, order supplies, you know..all the important things in a company. i actually really enjoy it...as much as one can enjoy a full time job. (oh, my memory is reminding me that i've already shared this news with you. oopsies.)

anyways, it's a good times. of course, i have my good and bad days. i have the people i get along with, and the people that i wish would disappear off the planet earth..but i've made really good friends there! and i have a lot of fun, sometimes, so i guess that's all you can ask for, right? (okay, confession. i feel like i can only write nice things about it on my blog because i get scared that someone there might read it and i'll get fired for writing the wrong thing..so if you want stories and all the exciting life happenings of a receptionist..you're going to have to ask me in person! :) but honestly, i dont have bad things to say about it. also, i'll let you buy me dinner if you want. because that's always a nice gesture.)

i want to throw myself another birthday. i know, it'd be the third one this year...but i get to do whatever i want, right? i'm an adult! i can make decisions! i decide i want another birthday! this time i'm going to actually throw a party and do fun things, so expect greatness.

ehm. i'm going to grow a mullet. and nobody can stop me.

wanna know my biggest accomplishment of this week? :) it's a good one!

i, mallory kay denison, got the radio station changed at work.

what are you saying? that's not impressive? that's not a big deal? well i'm here to tell you that if only you knew the painful music i had to endure every day of my life. it was stuck on 70's folk music of death, where all they'd do is play songs like this or this.

yes, i admit. they really arent THAT bad of songs. but when you listen to them 15 times a day, monday through friday, it gets bad...really REALLY bad.

anyways, my laptop is getting really hot on my lap so i'm guessing it's time for bed. :) remember to send me a huge bouquet of bright flowers this week!

alive?

2011-05-13T17:31:00.000-06:00

okay, so i've started this post probably about 6 times..and i just havent gotten around to actually posting anything. everything i was saying was completely worthless and i was embarrassed to share any of the things that had happened to me.

BUT. due to the fact that i am the most popular person on the planet earth, i promised many-a-folk that i would update on my life happenings. so...here it is.

1. year 1 of college is complete. 2.5 more years to go...and then i can be a real adult with a real job and real responsibilities and real things.

2. i moved :) my bed is taller than i am, AND to make it super classy...it's placed on top of cinder blocks and my dresser. i am convinced that one day i am going to die while trying to climb to the top of mt. everest of a bed. or the cinder blocks are going to decide they dont feel like holding the bed up any more..and i'll be the one to pay for it. but then i was thinking..if i were to set my bed on the ground like a normal human being that knows the danger in an elevated bed..my room wouldn't be able to fit everything! because we have two bed..two desks..two dressers..where do they expect it all to go?!...up in the air i guess.

3. finally got a gym pass again! i decided after thinking about it 24/7 and finally having dreams about it, i might as well spend the $25 a month to make myself happy :) so far i've been going every day! (okay, confession. it's only been 3 days. BUT STILL!)

4. seeing as i decided to work out again, i remembered how painful it is. since day 1 i havent been able to walk normal. i want to cry every time someone asks me to bend over. or get out of a car. or climb onto my bed. or climb out of it. or do anything that involves moving. and then i keep thinking "well if i drink more water and keep working out, it'll go away faster!" NO. it gets worse! and then all i have to do is pee a lot..and getting on and off the toilet is hard with my sore legs!

5. i got a job! i real job! a FULL TIME real job! impressed? i would be too. because guess what? i am an adult! a real one! with a full time job! i wear skirts and use clip boards and answer phone calls! but i dont wear high heels. because..the floor is slippery! and you have to walk a lot! and i KNOW i'll be the one that dies from a freak accident involving me wearing heels and falling over. probably the clip board would stab me in the stomach. and then it would be disgusting. so no, i dont wear those evil things.

6. i joined a soccer team :) our first game is tonight, and yes. i will probably die seeing as i can hardly walk without wanting to stab someone in the heart. but we'll see how it goes. maybe i'll fake an injury. :)...my stomach has been hurting pretty bad today. probably my stomach cancer is coming back.

7. i went to portland. it was fun. be jealous because it's the worlds greatest place. but too many fun things happened i dont feel like telling you everything right now. just know that it was fun and you should be jealous.

8. this is probably still the funniest thing. OF MY LIFE.

also, so is this http://whenparentstext.com/

remember to smile. because it makes you look prettier.

an ode to google.

2011-04-07T12:18:00.000-06:00

here's an awesome question.

HOW IN THE WORLD DID ANYONE SURVIVE LIFE WITHOUT GOOGLE!?

seriously though, my life revolves around it. and i'm going to go ahead and make the bold statement that just about EVERYONE is a googleaholic. you either just dont see it, or you dont want to admit it.

think about it. (especially if you're in college.)
what do you do when you dont want to look something up in a book? you google it.
what do you do when someone uses a big word that you dont know what it means? you google it.
dont know the name of the song that is stuck in your head? google those lyrics, baby!
dont know the phone number to somewhere? google.
address? google.
spelling of a word? google.

for heck sakes, google even has its own verb now!

oh, and wait. there's more. they have google maps. google earth. google translation. google email. google videos. google chrome. google books. google financing. google shopping. google news. google EVERYTHING.

how can you not be a googleaholic with all of those wonderful things?! i love it. it's the ONLY reason i am able to pass any of my classes. because, oh wait. it makes research papers easier than anything in the world!

so yes. i am very passionate about google. you go ahead and try and imagine your life without this wonderfully amazing search engine, and you'll discover your love for it.

:) GO GOOGLE!

mallory cake?

2011-04-03T16:32:00.000-06:00

okay, friends. i realized something. and that thing is called..the name of my blog is called mallory cake, but about 1% of the people that read my blog have any idea why i called it this.

1. i am so uncreative, i cant think of anything all cutesy and funny.

2. i love eating. especially treats. like cake. but mostly brownies and cookies. chocolate chip cookies :) with ice cream on top. and chocolate sauce. and happiness and joy.

3. my middle name is kay. now, i know many of you are thinking "mallory you fool. kay is not anywhere near cake." but trust me, i know. but when i was a wee little lad, but cute grandpa whitey would always call me mallory cake. now, since i have an awful memory, and sometimes my mind plays games with me and gives me dreams that i think are real but they're actually fake. so anyways, my pretend memory remembers how cute my grandpa was.

anyways, my grandpa would always tease me and call me mallory cake. i think it had something to do with my chocoholic addiction of chocolate. but anyways, i loved it.

but now that i think of it, i had some pretty awful memories. my least favorite would HAVE to be people making fun of my name. my uncles would always harass me. like once when they buried me in the sand on the beach and LEFT ME THERE. i was traumatized. i cried and cried and screamed. i'm suprised child protective services werent called. i was upset. and they would sing this awful song. oh the horror.

"mallory bo ballory banana fana of fallory me my mo vallory. MALLLLLOOOORRRY"

yeah, not cool. i attribute my anger in life to that song. i had no power against them! they just kept singing and singing.

oh i cant think about this any more. it's horrific.

conflict within myself

2011-03-28T19:01:00.000-06:00

okay folks. i need help..a lot of help. mostly your opinions, but those help me! i am having SERIOUS conflicts within myself about my major.

p.s. this is mostly me talking to myself and trying to figure out the rest of my life.

(for those of you that dont know, i am going into elementary education, and dont get me wrong, i really REALLY love it. i love the thought of working with kids, i love the thought of having a career to go into right after college, i love the thought of doing what makes me happy for the rest of my life. BUT. i am having problems with this.. so here i go.)

1. i am scared of the parents. i have heard so many horror stories of satan parents that i dont even know if i can handle the thought of even looking at them.

2. i hear it takes over your life. lesson plans everywhere. always trying to plan fun activities. grading papers. decorating. buying supplies. worrying about children. going early, staying late. and getting paid JACK SQUAT for it. always treating everyone like little kids. not being around adults i can relate to.

3. i feel like i wont be challenged intellectually. call me a nerd, but i have this weird obsessing about learning about new things. i sit here and put off my homework to read about weird things, and i collect all my random research. i love learning about religions, (sometimes) philosophy, and other random things that we dont need to talk about. i feel like if i was a teacher i would just be stuck in the same routine of coloring, cut and paste, and paper mache. and while that is WONDERFULLY FUN. i dont know if that's what i want!

4. opportunities. i want to be able to have a lot of them! i want to have options, and exciting things happen to me! i dont wanna be stuck in a classroom, because i feel like if i get my teaching degree that's all i'll be able to do. is teach. i mean, i love it. its fun and such, but i feel like i am getting married to it forever and i wont even be able to like.. i dont know. do normal things.

5. i get nervous thinking about teaching a whole entire class and being responsible for them! there are like seven thousand zillion things that could go wrong, and i'd be the one to blame. and that's not what i like. i like when everyone is happy and nobody says mean things or yells at me.

6. i also read about all these horror stories of the first aid care you'll have to give while being a teacher. (example: a boy had a PENCIL sticking through his leg. all the way. eraser side coming out of his shin. sharpened side coming out his calf. i threw up just thinking about it.)

7. school lunch. even the smell of it makes me heave.

i like the thought of being a teacher because:
1. summers and lots of holidays are off.
2. it makes me happy.
3. it's rewarding. probably one of the most rewarding things ever.
4. (usually) the kids adore you. no matter who you are, or what you do. they love your guts and they want to do everything they can to make you happy.
5. the kids are just adorable.
6. i get the biggest love in my heart when i see a kid. especially when i see them laughing, or playing on a play ground. or just being silly. (i dont mean to sound like a creeper. but they make me so happy!)
7. i know i'll be good at it once i try.

what should i dooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo?! i'm scared of real life. can i major in every single thing in the world? because i also wanna go to culinary school. and make up school. and being cool school. and everything school.

humm. i need to stop sitting in the library. it makes me think too much.

today is my birthday.

2011-03-25T15:07:00.000-06:00

so. yesterday i decided it was my birthday today. so i got right to it, and changed my birthday status on facebook.

this is why:
1. i love cake, and i wanted a reason to eat it without thinking of the 14986 pounds i would gain.
2. i wanted an excuse to miss the gym today.
3. i wanted everyone to remember how cool and awesome i am. (remember guys, remember?!)
4. i like tricking everyone.
5. i wanted to see who really remembered my birthday, and who's a facebook PHONY.
6. this weekend seemed like a good weekend to celebrate my awesomeness.

reasons why i'm awesome:
1. i laugh at almost everything
2. i am a good cleaner
3. i am funny.
4. i am nice to almost everyone...usually.
5. i like really great stuff. like cheese. and good music. and boys.
6. i have really awesome dance moves.
7. i dont like stupid things. like baseball and high gas prices.
8. i qualify for food stamps.
9. i am so smart. about everything. i know all the everythings in the world.
10. i am a kick butt at being ungraceful.
11. i am really good at being bossy.
12. i dont eat animals. and thats awesome because they're gross. and it's sad that they die.
13. i have an awesome family.
14. there's a lot more but i dont want you do feel bad about yourself because i'm so awesome.

:)

happy birthday to me. i'mma go buy me some balloons!

sizzle.

2011-03-22T17:51:00.000-06:00

if you read this, you HAVE to know. i am not the brightest bulb in the tanning bed. but sometimes i even amaze myself with my stupidity.

once upon a time i was really happy because it was FINALLY warm enough to wear shorts outside. so i did just that. i got my hot pants on and was strutting my stuff all over the place. and then it was friday and i was bored in orem so i decided to go play with my sister and her friend for a while. we ate ice cream and did girl things. it was a jolly good time. THEN my little sisters friend was like "oh hey i think it's a really good idea to curl my hair" and i was all "oh my gosh! i miss doing that! let me do it! please please pleaseeeeee!"

so she did.

except i had to hurry because i had to go and meet some friends at nicklecade. so i hurried and got all done and then stood up from the chair and my stupid shorts got soo wrinkly. and then i was like "whatever i don't have time to iron them! it's fine!" but no. i looked in the mirror and almost ran away from embarrassment of wrinkly shorts syndrome.

So in the event of me having wrinkly shorts AND having a curling iron in my hand i thought "oh hey guess what's a really great idea? i am going to just hurry and iron my shorts while they're still on me with this circular pole of fiery death."

okay, those really weren't the real words in my head, because we all know i don't think with that many words. it was more like "wrinkle + hot thing = no wrinkle"

and then it happened. i was a careless fool who didn't think about the fact that in a split second this pole of fiery death could (and would) burn my very flesh. and that's exactly what it did. i am pretty positive it burned a hole all the way to my very core. (aka my bones) and so i developed this awful hole in my leg that still, a week later, refuses to heal. and it hurts. so i am in desperate need of a wheelchair. and probably all things chocolate :) yaayyy chocolate!

also, i would show you a picture but i know you ALL would barf on yourselves seventeen times because it is that disgusting. so just know that i am saving your life.

secrets

2011-03-09T22:15:00.001-07:00

i have a secret that i feel like i want to tell someone. but i feel kinda silly saying it with words, so i will type it into cyberspace and nobody will remember.

i have such a fond love for string cheese. i literally crave it every second of every day. sometimes i day dream about it.

i am being serious you guys. i walk around school thinking about it. i sit in bed and think about it. always. i love it. and dont you dare ask me why i love it so much, because really i dont have an answer. i just want to eat it 24/7.

the weirdest thing...

2011-03-06T02:56:00.000-07:00

i'll be the first to say that my life is full of probably the weirdest most awkward things EVER. and i feel like i've done and adequate job of sharing these experiences with you, so i would only be doing you a favor by telling you what just happened to me...

about 1 am i am driving from salt lake to orem, and i was in the home stretch of getting to my home when in the distance i saw a ZILLION police cars/ambulances/ traffic jam. so many thoughts ran through my head, and i was sure i was going to look out my window and see a dead body on the road and some terrifying car crash. but the closer i got to the scene, the weirder things got.

i saw giant creatures in the middle of the road. first i thought it was a pile of dead bodies covered in a blanket. but that was kinda a silly thought. then i thought it was deer because, we all know that dear love running around on the freeway in the middle of the night. but no. the truthful thing that it was is 10 times weirder then you could ever imagine. they were HORSES. not just like one random horse that got away while delivering mail for the pony express. oh no. it was a group of like 6 horses all in one area. those poor lil guys. their hoofs were in the air. and their blood and guts were all over the freeway. i guess the accident had just barely happened because it was one heck of a time trying to maneuver my car around these bloody dead horses.

this was traumatic. i thought i was going to puke or something..and then i thought about all the guts that got stuck in the cracks of my tires and i got even more upset. HOW IN THE WORLD DID THESE HORSES GET THERE!? and then i drove a little further forward for like 3 minutes, and there was another random dead horse! this one was the worst because i saw its poor little face! i mean, as much as i hate horses with all the fibers of my soul, i hate the fact that i saw them dead. and bloody. and gutty. and disgusting. i am truly scarred for life. i cant stop thinking about it.

so i was all stressed out about the horses when out of nowhere this cop starts running towards me with his flashlight just a waving in the air. i about had a brain attack with all the flashing lights, seriously. do police men not understand that all their flashing bidness is about to give me a seizure. but he was just warning me that there were people on the side of the road and i needed to get to the other side of the freeway. so i had to be like stunt driver expert and get around the bloody horse, while dodging the freaking out people on the side of the road. and their cars. i'd like to call myself really cool for experiencing this. i only wish i had a camera. or someone with me to experience it. i feel like my writing just doesnt do it justice.

this reminds me of an experience i had recently. and since my brain is going 238723 miles an hour due to the gory night i had, i think i will tell you this other weird story. which isnt as weird, but it sure as heck shook me up.

one saturday morning i was driving to work. i was unhappy about the circumstances i was in. mostly because it was saturday morning, and i had to go to work. but anyways, that's besides the point. all you need to know is that i was driving. on a semi busy road. but since it was so early, there were like 3 cars driving. all of a sudden out of nowhere this gigantic truck pulls in front of me. this was no normal truck, they were pulling a huge flat bed trailer with LITERALLY 70 dead deer piled on top. they didnt have the decency to cover the poor things up with a tarp or a blanket, or like tissues or anything! so there i am staring these dead things in the eyes, and i was freaking out. i kept closing my eyes because i would rather be in a car accident then have to think about these dead guys. except not all of them were guys. because i tried to pass the truck, and they were going kinda over the speed limit, so to pass them i would have to go really fast. except i just thought to myself that if i got pulled over i would just tell the police man about the freakyness of those scary dead animals and he would TOTALLY understand. except i didnt get pulled over.

but. in the act of me trying to pass this truck, i pulled up next to the trailer and what did i see but only the worlds grossest bloody deer vag (ehm. i mean, butt.) seriously though. what the heck. who drives around at 8 in the morning with 70 dead deer hooked to the back of their truck?

nasty nast.

i cant stop thinking about all the blood and guts all over the road. and stuck in the tires of my car. oh dear. i know i am having some freaky dreams tonight, that's for sure. if anyone finds a news story about those dear sweet horses, will you send me the link? i gotta know what happened!

3 funny things

2011-03-03T15:41:00.000-07:00

wanna know 3 funny things that happened?

1. i am at the library (i swear weird things happen to me here all the time. by the way i write, you'd probably think ALL i do is sit at the library and watch weird people. well it's not true. i do homework too. i just have ADD so homework turns into people watching/blog writing/ facebook stalking time.) anyways, i am at the library. just a sittin and a workin. and there is this really gross couple sitting near me. they're all over each other and yuck. they're watching a movie or something, who knows. she keeps clipping her fingernails, and if there is ONE sound in the entire world that i hate, that would be it. and she is not wearing shoes. and her toes are really just grossing me out. and he just has..unruly hair. THEN. she does the nastyest nast thing in the world. she pulls a box of tissues out from her backpack. normally, this wouldn't make me throw up in my purse but she starts blowing her nose and i can SEE the boogers in the tissue. that made me sick. but dont worry, folks, it gets worse. after she blows all those nasty sticky boogers into her tissue SHE PUTS IT ON HIS LAP! who in the right mind would deal with someone like this?! i mean, not to be rude or anything but i dont care who it is, i do not want your nasty boogs on my arm.

okay, so much for 3 funny things. i have to finish my paper. sorry, folks ;)

ooooh the library.

2011-01-26T22:03:00.000-07:00

HAHAHA. so..funny story. okay maybe it's just funny to me but i need to tell SOMEONE so i dont die of laughing...

so i am sitting here at the library. top floor .right by the window. there is NOBODY here and then this guy comes and sits at a table super close to me. i had my hood on because it was cold and i was dying, and then i stood up to plug my computer in before i lost all my hard work i did on this rockin paper.

then i got hot from working so hard, so i took my hood off. the guy looks up at me and goes "OH! it's a girl!?" and then puts his head back down on the table. i want to know what in the world he is thinking right now.

oh dear. he is mumbling. dont tell anyone but i am sneakily watching him in the reflection of the windows. creeper i know. but he's freaking me out! he keeps mumbling to himself saying weird things like "woah she looks like such a bitch" and weird things. i want to be like..excuse me. but those words are not inside your head. i can HEAR THEM!

okay i am going to do it....well..next time he says something. possible update...soon.

why do all the awkward things only ever happen to me?

2011-01-23T22:54:00.001-07:00

i am not made to date. or to have friends. forreals. i just CANNOT do anything right. but oh well. it provides me with laughs galore! :)

so there's this kid at work that's pretty freaking cute (lets pray he's not reading this) anyways, cute kid. i got the balls to talk to him, and so we're friends. whatever. except he is that one person that i honestly cannot be normal around! or say one normal thing FOR.THE.LIFE.OF.ME.

lets just say i am the queen of awkward :)
awkward experience 1:
i had just got his number, and he was texting me about something (not that important) and then someone (who will remain unnamed) told me about their girl issues. so i was like "oh no! do you have any tampons!?" but right as i went to send that to my friend, work boy texted me. my silly phone got so stressed out and confused so what did it do? IT SENT HIM THAT TEXT MESSAGE. yeah, bad. super awkward. but i just learned to laugh at it and move on!

but that is not all.

awkward experience 2:
it was a really slow day in the call center, so my manager assigned me and a few other people to clean the cubicles. i got the job of using the air compressor to get all the dust out of all the keyboards. well i had these air compressors in my hands, and i was walking around. at that exact moment he called my name, so i walked over to his cubicle. then i did it. i did the worlds most embarrassing thing ever. searching for something to say, i look at the compressed air and i go, "OH! did you want me to blow your thing?!" :D
yeah, didnt think that one through. my awkwardness kicked in and i just stood there with the "oh my gosh what the heck am i thinking why in the world did i do that i want to crawl in a hole and die" face on. then i walked away. awkwardly.
oh and then what did he do?

he set his facebook status to THIS:

QUOTE OF THE DAY! "Do you want me to blow your thing?" -Girl at work (kept anonymous)

:( people were like "woah (name of boy), stop working at a strip club!" blah blah blah.

:/ yeah, and that's not all

awkward experience 3:
i am sitting at a stop light in the car with my friend. she drove. i was the passenger. we were just talking/laughing. whatever. it's a friday, and i had to go to work in about 20 minutes. then. they most joyous thing happened to me. HE CALLED! yeah exciting, right? i thought so too. and so my action showed how extremely i was. we're cheering and what not in the car. i was sure i was finally going to get a date. so i answered the phone after cheering..and i tried to play it all cool. and this is how our awful conversation went:
me: hello?
him: oh hey! what's up?
me: oh nothing..just getting ready for work..what about you?
him: oh yeah. nothing. who's your friend?
me: what?
him: who.is.your.friend?
me: huh? kami? uhh..what? are you..watching me? (frantically looking around)
him: oh haha. yeah.
me: WHAT?! WHERE!? (trying to peer into the dark tinted windows of the truck next to me)
him: HAHA! SUCKER! (peeping his head into the light)
me: oh..haha..well...this is great. umm..well. i'll see you at work?
him: yeah, come say hi to me when you get there!
me: yeah, okay. we'll see about that.

i got to work. and i beat him there so i texted him and was like..SUCKER! you drive slow! come say hi when you get here. yeah, he didnt come say hi. or text me back.

what the heck is my problem!? :(

and then. another awkward story. not with the same kid though, different kid. mystery kid. or should i say kids?
ha.

so i was at the gym after work. it's like 9:30 at night, and there are 10000 really great boys. and i had just finished running and i was riding the bike to cool down a bit. and there was this kid and i was for sure we were going to get married. so i texted my cousin and told her about him. and then all of a sudden his twin pops up! so i was like woah! this cant get any better! so i tell her. then she has the brilliant plan for me to go talk to them so i was like YEAH! IMMA DO THIS! so i walk up to them all cutesy and i smile real excitedly big and say hi.
oh dear their faces were priceless. i'm sure mine was too. giddy little five year old.
but them. i got the eyeball lookdown stink face look. then they walked away. LAUGHING.
so i stood there for a second and played it cool and then RAN into the girls locker room. you better believe i hid in there until i knew they were gone.
not so brilliant of an idea. i just dont know why i cant catch a break!

BOOO ON MY AWKWARDNESS.

what do you want?

2011-01-14T00:04:00.000-07:00

okay, honestly that title has nothing to do with what i have to say. it was just the first that that came into my head so i went with it.

okay. i have 13 minutes before my bedtime. lets see what i can fit into these short..ope. 12 minutes now.

so school has officially started. it's so great! i had a few nervous breakdowns because i know how hard it is going to be(which is EXTREMELY hard) but i got over it, planned everything out. bought a calendar. bought a planner. got ready to conquer the world. or just college, whichever one comes first.

my classes are a lot of fun though! i have ceramics, ethics and values, yoga, health for education teachers, english, and geology. it sounds easy, but it's a LOT of reading. and even more writing. but it's going to be really good! i've learned a lot already. i really like my philosophy class! it's so great. i get to expand my brain and think more...which is always fun. i've developed a lot of my own ideas and my own beliefs lately, which i think is really cool. my eyes have opened up and i have figured out a lot of stuff!

okay, but i do have one problem.
the boy that sits in front of me in english wears WAY too much cologne..it makes me SICK! so today i sat on the other side of the classroom hoping he wouldnt follow me. AND HE DID! i wanted to die. all i could do was think about how i was about to pass out from this disgusting boys smell, and he wouldnt go away!
i swear if he sits by me again all hell will break loose and he will not have hands to spray that dang stuff on his body anymore. and that's what's up my friends.

dont mess with me.

but on the flip side..
people that dont wear cologne (aka boys) really seriously make me mad. i am sorry, but you are in my general area. and you smell DISGUSTING. i cant breathe when you're around me. and i cant even stand to open my mouth for fear that the stench will somehow turn into a taste and enter into my mouth and scar me for life. so please, no matter how good you think you smell..for my sake put some deodorant on..and then ONE spray of your lovely cologne.

i almost just passed out on my bed. i am locked in my tiny room. and i had my space heater going. and i had 1348097 blankets on my body. and then all of a sudden i wanted to have a nervous breakdown and be overly dramatic about how hot i was. and so i did.

so guess who rocks at making friends? i do.
well at least i think i do. i have no idea what other people are thinking about me. but i dont really care. because we have fun when we talk! and that's what i like to do.
so what i did was sign up for all the clubs in the world. go me! and now i am officially a cool person. because i do fun things..like...join clubs and...talk to people.

it's so great. :)

so onto another thing.

lets talk anxiety.
1. the fact that i have to walk down a hall with taxidermy animals every day. it's awful. i cry. i swear that hyena is going to attack me one of these days. or the moose will grow a body and eat me.
2. this paper i have to write. i have to write about a "controversial" topic that causes heated discussions between me and someone i care about.
1. i dont care enough about anyone to write about it.
2. i dont get in heated discussions unless it's about work and whether or not someone gives me their cell phone number.
3. clothes.
4. my alarm going off every morning at 6 for me to go to the gym
5. going to the gym
6.being anywhere except for my bed.
7. when i forget to clip/paint my toenails and i have to wear no shoes or socks in yoga where everyone can see my unkept toes.
8. when i can see my vains popping out of my skin.
9. the fact that my hair isnt growing
10. the thought of having long hair again.
11. when someone parks outside my window.
12. marriage. will people stop suggesting it?
13. people forgetting my birthday (you all forgot it. i just put this in here to remind you that you did. i look forward to your belated birthday cards...with money in them)
14. small paychecks.
15. high rent
16. boys.
17. the fact that one day i might be fat again.
18. THESE DANG TOENAILS.

ope. time's up. you guys got an extra 4 minutes of me writing. how lucky are you?
my sleep just lost 4 minutes. you better feel pretty dang lucky.

call me crazy...

2010-12-30T22:41:00.000-07:00

but i dont think i'm a real girl!

my cousin Cheryl was updating on her blog about her collection of wedding things..invitations..rings..dresses, etc. and i was thinking about what i wanted my wedding to be and i realized. I'VE NEVER FANTASIZED ABOUT MY WEDDING! i mean, of course, i want to get married. of course i want a wedding. but i dont think i have ever been the kinda girl thats like "i know i want this kind of wedding. with this kind of looking cake. and this is the perfect dress." i know i want a big sparkly ring though! but that's all.
also, i want to elope.

so this means i am a fake girl. sorry guys

UPDATE!

2010-12-12T22:10:00.000-07:00

soo remember when i was all "i am going to be so happy until finals week!"?

and then remember how some jerk was like "i give it a week"?

well guess what? it's finals week, and i can HONESTLY say that i have had good days since i changed my attitude. i'm not going to lie and said every little moment was perfect, i did have bad moments. but i didnt let them affect my attitude or my day, and guess what? i made a friend!
not just one friend. BUT FOUR. and also, i have learned so much about myself. it's weird how much people change in such little time. its the end of my first semester in college -- can you believe that?! i still feel like a child, i'm not going to lie. i dont feel like i belong here, but i am trying to make the best of it, and figure out what life is all about! but i am loving the adventure.

i have made a budget for myself, so that by the end of this semester i can come out on top and not in the hole. and it's going well! i just need to stop eating ;) haha just kidding.
but, my next goal is to schedule my time better. right now, i go to school and then i come home. and then i wait around (doing homework and such) and then i go to work. then i come home. then i go to bed. and that's all. i dont do JACK SQUAT i feel like. and there is so much i want to do!

so this is what i am going to do.
1. get a gym pass.
2. go to the gym EVERY DAY! yes i said every day. not sundays...but 5 days a week i'll be back at the gym! it's time to kick myself into gear again.
3. volunteer. there are amazing places down here in orem..and i really need to get involved! so after the gym...it's straight to service-doing for me!
4. i want to take an archery class. because it's cool :)

so here's my plan (i know you all dont really care, but i feel like if i tell you all then i'll actually do it!)

i am going to wake up. go to school. go to the gym. go volunteer. do homework. go to work. come home. do homework. go to bed. be happy.

i am so excited for this next semester! now that i am all settled in, i really feel like i can get my life into order!

also, i had NO idea christmas was next week. i am kinda freaking out here. maybe i need to pay attention to life more often..yes?

oh well, i am so excited. i love christmas. i love the music. and the jubilee, and the feeling! and plus, NO SNOW! :)

yes yes yes.

i have also found something i actually love about orem. THE WEATHER! it is so much warmer, and less stormy here--what a miracle!

okay, well that was a rant and a half. and i didnt say anything useful. so here is something that will entertain you and forget all the boring things i said.

"the promise"

2010-12-03T00:34:00.001-07:00

okay, so here i was. laying in my bed thinking of all the miserable things that happen to me. all the things that i wish that i could change in my life. etc. but then i though HEY! i'm such a loser! i'm the one that is being stupid. i'm the one making myself feel like this every.single.day. then i had another epiphany. if i was doing this to myself, i could do the opposite and make myself feel happy! so guess what i did?

i made a promise.

here it is: i will not have a bad day until finals week (i gave myself until then because everyone knows you're allowed to eat as much as you want and be as cranky as you want during finals week) but here's one of the rules. i am allowed to have a bad day on sunday because i ALWAYS am cranky on sunday. it doesnt matter where i'm at, who i'm with, or what i am doing. sundays just SUCK. no offense or anything. but they do. i dont know what it is but every sunday i want to go on a crazy rampage of killing. and punch everything in the world.

but i am done talking about that.
so that's that. there's my promise. and guess what? it's working! i went to work, and i was chipper. and my manager was like "why the heck are you smiling?! you never smile!" and then i said (with my head held high..and a smile on my face) "because i am having a GREAT day! :)" then my other manager turns around and she goes. "what the, why?" and i said "because i am always cranky and i am SICK of it!"

then they laughed awkwardly and walked away. but i was proud of myself. oh so proud.

and then guess what? i made TWO friends at work that day :) TWO!!!
i am already facebook friends with one of them. go me!

and also, now i ALWAYS have good days at work! always! because i sit by my friends and we laugh. we laugh so hard my brains fall out. and then i laugh some more. then someone calls and i am on the phone call, and i just start laughing for no good reason! i kinda get in trouble sometimes because i laugh so much, but i dont think anythings wrong with it. everyone could use more laughter in their life!

that is why i am going to show you THIS: www.hyperboleandahalf.com
okay, if you dont laugh out loud at least 5 times while you read this. then you dont have a soul. because i am 1. addicted and 2. in love with it because it makes me laugh so freaking hard.

anyways, i hope you all enjoy that gift i gave you.

also, mal's words of wisdom for the day:
dont procrastinate. the end.

p.s. the drawings in that blog are what kill me. their hands. oh.my.gosh. i just cant even handle how hilarious it is. i just want to laugh all the time. and so i do :)

what happened?

2010-11-24T17:04:00.000-07:00

will someone tell me where mallory went?
i mean, not this one. not the one that's here. the one that had fun. that laughed. that was excited to wake up in the morning to tackle on the daily duties. the one that did stuff. like smiling.
something happened, i dont know what. but i dont remember the last time i was actually excited for something. i am sick of everything. i want everything to be the way it used to be. i want my sister back. i want to not be living in this forsaken apartment. town. county. everything. i get anxiety every time i have to walk into my apartment. i dont think my brain is even on when i'm at work. and school is a joke. everything around me is going, and i just am sitting here with a glaze over my eyes going through the days counting the seconds when i can go back to bed.
i need a little bit of saving. and a friend.

what to say..what to say...

2010-11-18T10:32:00.000-07:00

haha okay, i know i am the worst blog writer in the WORLD lately, but i honestly have no freaking clue what to say anymore!
i wish my life was exciting. i wish that some crazy thing would happen. but lets get real. it's not.
want to know my life schedule?
8 am. wake up.
9 am. you're late for class, hurry up and go.
12 pm. get home from class for the day.
12:15 pm. hurry up and eat.
12:30-2 pm. homework, homework, homework.
2-3 pm. play with kami (my roommate)
3-4 pm. take a nap.
4:30 pm. leave for work
5-10 pm. work.
10-12 pm. (honestly, who knows what happens in this time. i just sit on the computer, or hang out across the hall. or just go to bed.)

thats my life. every. single. day. exciting, i know. i'm not trying to complain, dont get me wrong i have some fun. but it does get boring at times. i just wish i had a day off where i could do something. but then again, i have no freaking idea what i would do with a day off. usually, on my tuesdays off (because i have tuesdays off..for class that i have that goes until 6) but i have no idea what to do with myself and my time off!
i really like my job at the call center. i get a lot of hours, enough money to pay for things i need, etc. and i am making a lot of friends there :) we have fun.

also, for the longest time i thought it was ect. not etc. i'm so silly sometimes.
like when i was eating food with this kid i work with, and he was talking about how at work this and this and this happened. and i looked at him i was like wait! where do you work?! (all seriously) and then it hit me that i work with him!
i was so embarrassed.

okay, i guess i do have some BIG BIG NEWS!

I GOT A NEW CAR! my death car, that was literally trying to kill me, was getting out of control and so i told my dad and battabingbattaboom! mallory had a new car! it's super cute, and so me!
it's an all black 09 kia rio. how freaking cute, right?!
anyways, i'd be jealous if i were you. haha just kidding.
okay maybe one day i'll take a picture of it and show you guys the joyfulness of the car. :)

excuse me, sir

2010-11-03T12:23:00.000-06:00

so a whole lot of funny things have happened lately, i just want to sit around and laugh so hard sometimes.
anyways, today i was sitting on the bus and the most disgusting smellling person was sitting here all high and mighty. it was a combination of BO and cologne. it was the smell of vomit. i couldnt stop laughing at that poor soul. bless his heart, i almost wanted to give him some wet wipes or something.

then i had to run to class because i was SUPER late and so i ran into class and there was this boy presenting, and i wasnt really paying attention to him because, you know, who really pays attention in those kinds of things? yeah, not me. but then! i looked up at him and i discovered something that i wish i would have known years ago.
ELF'S EXIST! there is no way they couldnt after looking up at his sweet little pointy ears.

also, i need some serious help, with a few things actually.
1. i am looking for an after school nanny job...for somewhere in utah county. so if anyone knows of anything, please please pleaseeeeee let me know! i will be your best friend forever.
i miss those kinds of jobs so bad. i miss being around kids. i miss their voices and their energy! i'd rather change a diaper then sit in an office all day.
i miss everything about it.
2. i need some help. i am trying to make a budget for myself because i feel like my money just goes places that i dont even know. SO what i'm asking for is suggestions on how you've budgeted..what you've noticed that works and doesnt work .

school is getting better. it's hard. it's lonely. it's a lot of work, but i am working at it every day to be positive and to make the best out of what i have, because in the wise words of my cousin rachel, the grass is greener where you water it!

i got to talk to merrit yesterday morning, she was leaving the airport for ecuador! horray for her! i am so excited for her :)
it was kinda hard talking to her, but absolutely perfect! i miss her so much every single day. but she is going to be a super great missionary. she is doing really well, if anyone wanted to know!
she kinda feels like it's not real life, but she is loving it! she is kinda overwhelmed with the whole situation, but she'll adjust lickity split. (i know i spelled that wrong, but honestly everyone i asked had no idea how to spell lickity, so dont be hatin)

also, i need some hugs. so if anyone wants to. come to orem. give me a hug. and tell me that we're friends. because sometimes i get a little lonely and sad.

anyways. bye.

welll.

2010-10-18T11:09:00.000-06:00

fall break was wonderful :)

it was just what i needed, and i had a lotta fun! but now it's back to school and i think i am just going to lay in my bed forever and never stop.

wanna know something? i just made dinner for the first time by myself. weird, huh?

i made scones, and chili, and we had honey butter. and it was so yummy. but not really worth all the money and time, so i am back to eating applesauce and water. it's a great diet, i must say.

i went to church for all 3 hours yesterday, which was a miracle. anddd i went to munch and mingle..AND. ward prayer. i am so so proud of myself.

have you ever seen a bear combing his hair?

also, i hate philosophy.

lets play!

2010-10-04T13:48:00.000-06:00

i hate how in the moment of life, you dont find the joy. you dont realize how happy you are, or how lucky you are to have what you actually have. and then after...you look back and wish and wish that you could have everything back to where it was.
i wish so badly i could be back in elementary school, or even middle school.
but honestly, i'd even go back to the WONDERFUL summer that i had. i did so many fun things, and i got to be a kid again.
running around pretending to be a ghostbuster with the kids i nannied, riding on the back of an elephant, strutting my stuff down the streets of portland, and having dance parties on the roof of a hotel in thailand until the wee hours of the morning.
it was what i call a picture perfect summer. :)
but it's october now. oc.freaking.tober. and i dont know how this happened, really. i have lived here for almost two months (only 7 months leftttt!) and merrit leaves in 9 days. i cry almost constantly about this. i cried in class today haha. oh man, this is going to be the longesttttt 18 months of my life. i'll be over halfway done with college, i will probably have a job that you dont get paid minimum for doing back breaking work, and possibly i will have a grasp on what life is all about. this isnt what i like to talk about though.

anyways, the real reason why i am reminiscing on my wonderful summer, is how much i wish i could just remember to play, and find the light and joy in life..no matter how dark the clouds are over my head.

this video helped me remember all the funny silly times i had this summer, running around the house pretending to be chasing ghosts. why do we have to grow up? oh yeah, that's right. we dont.

thats a major reason why i love LOVE my major. i get to help kids play, and learn, and do both at the same time. it's what i'm so excited about.

anyways, while walking home today, i had the most wonderfully glorious sight:

the storm was a brewin', and i was excited. i kept seeing lightning in the distance, and could only PRAY that i wouldnt get attacked by the pouring rain that was to come. i love rain, and i love dancing in it. but when i have all my homework and my laptop, there would have been some angry words dancing around my head.

just past that soccer field, there is a giant parking lot i walk through to get to my apartment. it's always full when i am walking home, and there are ALWAYS people driving around searching for a parking spot, but they can never find it...because there isnt one! so they end up deciding to stalk people walking through to parking lot, because they assume i am going to my car. i'm not. and it's always funny because they will be about 5 feet behind me, and throughout the ENTIRE parking lot they follow me, and get all disappointed once i get to the grassy patch and still dont get into a car :) the people that actually ask are wonderful, because i dont feel like i am being watched, and i hate that. plus i dont like that they are most likely looking at my butt. i mean, go ahead and look. but stop staring at it! ;)

maybe i should put a sign on my backpack that says "stop following me, i'm not going to my car. BACK OFF!"

i'll be sure to make that today.

anyways, does nobody read this anymore!? i am getting depressed and less and less desirous to update ya'lls on my life.
that's my hint of telling you to comment. because they make me happy and feel less lonely.

also, any tips on how to survive this next 18 months of solitude would be helpful.

take your hat off as the flag goes by.

2010-09-29T10:50:00.000-06:00

have you ever been walking and feel like everyone is just watching you?
yeah, this happens every.day.of.my.life.
at my school, they have this hallway. it is lined with chairs facing the walkway, and then as flags lining both sides of the hall.

you can only imagine how awkward walking down this hall can be! i always feel like people are going to stand up and clap and cheer for me!

secretly, i wish they would. how exciting would that be..seriously! all i want to do is be cheered for.

so one day i am going to stage a giant musical and people are going to be singing and dancing down the hall and nobody will ever know what hit them.

and it is going to be so so wonderful...i can just see it now. :) first i just need to find some friends to do it with me.

also. i have a secret. i am in love.

reasons why i love my family

2010-09-24T00:23:00.003-06:00

enough said.

scripture talk

2010-09-23T00:21:00.000-06:00

okay, so i have started to realize this really annoying cadence that people talk in when they are reading their scriptures or giving a talk in church, and i'm not going to lie it kinda drives me crazy.
but the most annoying thing is..i do it too! and i cant even help it! i just read it and while i'm doing it all i can think about is how annoying i am being by doing this, but of course i cant freaking stop.
boo on that!
also, merrit. aka my sister. aka my best friend. has her mission farewell this sunday. i cant even express my sadness..but also my joy for her. i cant imagine how the next two years are going to be without her...and honestly i dont want to. i dont even know who i am supposed to call when i just need to whine..nobody understands..or gives as good advice as my big sissy does :(
great, i'm crying again. i gotta stop doing this.

i got attacked.

2010-09-16T00:34:00.000-06:00

okay, this is kinda a lame story to tell, but forreals it was a painful moment (and it's still painful!) so i am going to whine about it to the world.

the other day i was walking home from school just talking to my mom about how bad i hated walking home because every time i did without fail i would have to go to the bathroom REALLY bad! so anyways, finally i crossed the super busy/scary road that you have to cross to get to my apartments and i'm just walking walking walking then BAM a car drives past me and a giant piece of metal comes shooting straight into my foot! and the stupid corner gets stuck into my heel. i was crying and screaming because it freaked me out! and then i pulled it out and i was all bloody! but i had to keep walking because i had to go to the bathroom and so i was running down the road with a bloody foot and me screaming on the phone to my mother.
i'm sure it was quite the sight.

so that's my college life for you. i am still weird. and i am still happy as a lark :)

anyways, what the heck is a lark and why is it so happy!? what if i wanna be happy as a parrot? or a turtle? I LOVE TURTLES. i want one soooooooooooooooooooooo bad.
almost as bad as i want a bull dog (hint hint, dad)

sleep tight...dont let the bed bugs bite!

2010-09-11T11:05:00.000-06:00

..no but seriously. dont let them. because they will :/

yes..my apartment was struck with the mean lil buggers called bed bugs. it was quite the dramatic experience, that's for sure. and it had to happen when i was in the WORST mood ever.

everyone was running around grabbing their stuff, screaming, and ripping sheets off the beds and i was just standing there..ready to cut the next person that screamed. i loaded up my bags, and ran far...FAAARR. away. (okay, well maybe just to barnes and nobel. but they have free wifi!) anyways..imagine this. hobo mallory (in her work out clothes from zumba class) laying on the floor in the corner of a book store with her backpack and all her "precious" belongings all around her. yeah, i looked homeless.

oh. and guess what? i live at hogwarts....great.

so..thats me. being kicked out of my apartment so they could spray the thing down. i havent slept on my bed since..because i didnt feel like washing my sheets. sooo i slept on the floor in my roommates TINYYY room. it was quite cozy. :)

anyways, it's getting colder outside and i am getting more and more unhappy about it. i LOVE fall...but its the thing that follows it that i hate. especially because i have to walk to school andddd it's quite a long walk! driving doesnt take that long, but then once you are walking..it's not as quick as you would hope. sooo i am taking donations to go towards buying me a parking pass at school so my walk isnt quite as far :)

college is great though :)

this.stupid.freaking.bed.

2010-09-08T23:41:00.000-06:00

i cant walk. i blame this bed.
i got a really weird rash the other day, and then it went away. but my roommate got it too..but hers hasnt gone away. so question..can you get a rash from mold..because we have all sorts of mold in our shower. soo..hopefully i dont die.

i love my new job :) i mean, all i do is wipe tables and crawl around on the floor and wipe things, but it's fun! mostly i am just SO thankful that i have a job. SOOO thankful!

umm school is good...suuuper boring. i feel like i'm really not even doing anything! but it's fun! you should see all the drawings i do during class! today i was in class and i opened my notebook full of my arts and the boy next to me looked over and just busted up laughing at me. i a little bits wanted to die, but you know whatever.

and then i am walking to my next class (down the worlds longest stair case) and i was listening to music and i was having a grand old time and BAM. i fall down the stairs. and boy oh boy did i fall..and you know when you fall and you make weird sounds? yeah, i did that. and then i just sat their with an owey butt laughing my head off at myself..and everyone thought i was so crazy, but it was funny!

anyways, i just want to sit here and curse at this mattress of mine :s

OH! tomorrow i am doing my first classroom observation! HORRAAAYY! i am excited, but actually really nervous. oh well, i'll let you know how it goessss!

anyways, sorry i am so boring. i dont even have any good stories..you'd think i didnt do anything all day..but trust me. i do. :)

a rude awakening.

2010-09-01T23:13:00.000-06:00

DISCLAIMER: this is me pouring my soul out. so i am sorry that it's boring. and i'm sorry if it makes no sense. but just let me be.

okay, so i have kinda been slacking in my scripture reading and praying. i guess i kinda find it hard to do it when i go to bed later then my roommate and then i dont want to turn the light on to read (because heaven forbid i even take my book into the other room). but anyways, today i decided i needed to get back into the rhythm of things and to refocus my life...it's funny what god will show you in the exact moments that you need it.
i was on my computer wishing i could turn the light on to read, but then i realized that it is the age of technology, and i was pretty sure that somewhere on this world wide web i could find something that would allow me to read without turing on the stupid light. so i did :)

i randomly clicked on enos and i guess every single word he said in that tiny little book was exactly what i needed to hear. not exactly what i wanted to hear, but what i needed :) enos was such a strong, and full of faith man and i wish so badly i could be more like him. it's funny how simple it is, trust in the lord and how vast the blessings you recieve are. i wish i could be better at this then i am :s

i love the difference that i can see in my life when i focus my life towards living it how the savior would want me to. it's getting harder and harder i guess you could say, living on your own and everything. there are a million things being pushed at you and you have so many things to stress out about and i hate how i've been slacking off, and not letting the lord into my life.

SOOO. blah blah blah, i know i am kinda being boring so sorry. but i just want to challenge everyone...if you've been slacking on your scripture reading..pick up that book of mormon and read it because it will change your life, and you'll see that things just seem to go in a better direction and you can make it through the day without calling your mom and crying to her (okay, mostly that's just me that does it. but you know..insert your own issue in place of mine)

but anyways. i love jesus :) aaaand i'm starting to love college (well..i wouldnt say love. but i am beginning to be able to live through the day a little bit.)

who says?!

2010-08-30T16:33:00.000-06:00

who says college is fun?!
who says you make a lot of friends in college?!

because seriously, i'ma punch them in the face if they say that one more time. but i guess it's getting better. i figured something out about college though. people work it up so much to be this huge thing..and so i was expecting something big and huge and terrible. i had anxiety attacks about it. but then i sat down and realized..."wait a second, college is just school!" haha i know, what a lame statement. BUT it's true. i worked it up so much in my head that i was expecting..who knows what. so i was just all stressed out about it. but no, it's just freaking school still. which kinda sucks, but you know..you do what you gotta do. and i'ma do this thing!

i got a job finally :) after applying to over 40 places. I FREAKING GOT A JOB! horray for me. it's at cafe paesan. it's like an italian version of cafe rio and i'm not going to lie, it's delish!

i've gotten so fat though, i swear. skinny roommates that eat all day is going to be the death of me. because not so skinny mallory eats all day with them. NOT GOOD. but i guess it's good that i'm poor because i dont have money to buy food, so therefore..once i run out of the food i currently have. eating is over. haha

anyways, i am alive. kinda. i'm just wishing i wasnt so tired all the time. and sometimes i wish i was better at making friends. :/ it's not easy for me! i'm not one to just go up and be like "oh hi waht are you talking about? oh my names mallory."
and then the whole issue of "so..what do you do for fun?" comes up and uh HELLO. that is my least favorite question in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD. becasue i dont do anything for fun! i dont know how to answer that freaking question! i always just awkwardly laugh and say "oh..you dont want to know" but uh hello. in reality..i dont have a freaking answer for you. so please, i beg of you. do not EVER ask me that question. because i dont have cool talents. i dont do anything. so just dont ask!

anyways. dating life? yeah. not there yet either so dont even bother asking.

super awesome things that give me the smiles

2010-08-08T01:30:00.000-06:00

Helloooo folks! crank up your speakers, and get ready to get sucked into some websites that will make you smile...and just give you a nice break! i hope these make you as happy as they make me!

1.

2. http://1000awesomethings.com/

absolutely everything on this list makes me so happy, because it's so true! i dont know why, but sometimes you have to be reminded of all the awesome things around you. :)

3. http://www.insanewiches.com/

seriously..who doesnt love a good sammich!? i sure do!

4. movies that make you laugh over and over and over again no matter how many times you watch it. what are they for me you ask? currently house bunny :) hahaha. i just cant get enough. BUT you can never forget baby mama. what a classic! i'm sure there are more, i go on kicks. but my all time favorite movie? edward scissorhands. LOOOVE IT.

5. reading a super good book that you want to pass around the entire world. aka. my sisters keeper. i LOVED the movie, and then last summer i found the book at walmart for like $4, so i was like oh! i will read it in kenya! yeah, i never did. but then i took it to thailand and started reading it. needless to say i got SUCKED into it and couldnt stop. anyways, i loved it. everyone and their dog should read it. i'll let you borrow it. i promise. sign up now.

6. puppies. babies. and anything that cuddles.

7.

aka. this is my favorite song in the world. i listen to it every morning...sometimes twice. but usually three times :) i dont know what makes me so happy about it, but i secretly just want someone to bust out a uke in the middle of some random place and sing it to me.

actually no because i would feel super super awkard and most likely run away with my BRIGHT red face. curse my face that turns red any time anyone even looks at me. it's not like i can help it! and i especially hate when people are like "OH MY GOSH YOUR FACE IS SO RED." okay, hello. thanks for that JERKS. i know it's red. i can feel it all hot and awkard. it's not like i was sitting there all awkwardly just wishing my face would turn bright red to make the already awkward situation even more awkward!

man..some people.

anyways, remember that list i made..things that give me anxiety. yeahh wellll i forgot to add something to it!
but i guess it kinda goes along with the whole mascots thing..anyways. i'll tell you.

it's called i am so so so afraid of taxidermy animals. moose heads, deer heads, EVERY animal at the bean museum at BYU. i cried...CRIED! when my mother took me. granted i thought the bean museum was where they made stupid freaking beans or something. nobody told me the truth! and i was like..5.
or maybe 8. but it doesnt matter. i hated it. maybe i just felt bad for the dead animals. or maybe i was afraid.

i'm going to go with the afraid one.

i am also afraid of the dinosaur museums...

oh! maybe it's just big things because i am super freaked by huge things that are..tall. haha.i probably shouldnt let myself write on my blog so late..i just blab about things that are super awkward and embarrassing.

anyways. i NEED a pet piggy. like the little ones that stay little forever..like in uptown girls.

this is another one of my favorite movies that i've seen wayyy too many times.

:)

here's something that made my day this week. making sugar cookies at work-
resulted in consuming half a carton of frosting...WAY too many sprinkles and awesome mickey mouse, star, moose, and heart shaped cookies.

whims and watermelon

2010-08-03T23:43:00.000-06:00

everyone has done at least one thing in their life that was completely on a whim. it doesnt have to be big...but sometimes the bigger the better! it is probably one of my favorite things to do...it reminds me that i am in control of my life! i love it!

anyways, the reason i bring this up...i gave in. i cut my hair. and let me just tell you..i CUT my hair. i absolutely love it though. it is super short, and freaking so easy to do, and honestly...i have never felt prettier. i would have never thought that because you'd think i'd feel like a boy or something..but alas, that is not the case. I dont really have any good pictures of it..i swear every time a camera turns on and my face does like..super ugly things so i just am really embarrassed to show anyone them. buttt here is one that you kinda get the idea of how freaking adorable i am now ;)

okay, i lied. this one is super ugly. how embarrassing.

anyways, i want to know what everyone else has done on a whim! have you ever just been driving and....decided you needed a little vacation orrr..i dont know! bought something super expensive without really putting some good thought into it? i really want to know! i feel like i need to do things like this more often.

also, sorry about the centered words. it automatically did it anddd it wont let me change it back. or maybe i am just crazy and somewhat handicapped with technology (which is a rather large possibility)

oh, and the watermelon part. i LOVE watermelon. i wish someone would buy me one a day...ahh. i would be the happiest girl on the planet earth. and i love sunflowers, and daisys. soo much. they just make me happy!

so this summer has been awesome. i just want to say that. i cant even believe how fast it has gone by..i swear i was graduating YESTERDAY. and now i've already been to thailand, got a job, quit that job, got a new job, went sailing, been to EVERY free concert at pioneer park (yes, that was my summer goal. i guess i still have a few more to go. i dont know why i love them so much..mostly for the people watching. it is one of my few talents.) i have partied at the farmers market, melted in the sun, got a blistering sun burn (you have to make that mistake at least once every summer), drove through the canyon for my first time, rode a segway through portland, picked berries, and seriously...soooo much more. i cant even believe it.

but now i am unhappy to announce that..i move to orem this month.

i guess it is a bittersweet announcement for me. i am soo ready and soo excited for all the awesome things that are ahead..but it is probably the scariest thing to me EVER. what is wrong with me? i can go to kenya, and thailand without my parents..no problem! but send me 30 minutes away aaand i am having a freaking anxiety attack! something is seriously wrong with me.

oh and also, does anyone know if there is somewhere that teaches meditation. i really want to do it!

anyways, this is me signing off!

WOW! i'll be in bed before midnight for probably the first time this whole summer! :) go me.

thailand memories.

2010-07-14T20:50:00.000-06:00

soo i have just been thinking about my cute/ awesome thailand trip and how much i loved it and how much i wish i could be there right now, you guys have no idea how much i loved it there. it was SOOOO much fun! i made so many awesome friends and had so much awesome memories, and sooo i just wanted to share a few pictures with you to show how much freaking fun i had! maybe one day i will update you on all the stories of the goodness of my trip, or mabye you should invite me to eat dinner at your house so i can tell you all the wonderfulness of it (but PLEASE i beg of you, please do not make thai food. i cant take it!) okay, and i know this is like put together like a freaking stupid person did it, but i'm far too lazy to care what it looks like..soooo dont be hatin :)

shopping in phuket

I LOVE THESE KIDS! SO MUCH

water in jello cups. :)

it's so beautiful here! we were soo hyper. all the time :)

we dug the crap out of that hole!vip lounge :)

EWWW.i almost died this day. forreals.

this is kinda embarrassing

2010-07-03T01:03:00.000-06:00

okay, i dont know if anyone really knows this about me..well probably everyone does but i just feel like talking about this anyways. i have this huge fear of probably the stupidest thing on the planet earth...

mascots.

i know, it's like something a freaking 3 year old would say, but trust me i have tried so hard to overcome this fear. (by the way, i looked it up, it's called Masklophobia--the fear of mascots..i'm not the only one!) but anyways, i have just tried to talk myself out of this for soo long but it's not working. i am convinced that once i finally find someone to date (heaven knows when that's going to happen) but WHEN i do...one day he'll surprise me and be like the freaking mascot of something..and that will be that because i wont be able to talk to him ever again!

anyways, i was thinking about my past experiences with them..and i dont even have a traumatic one..BUT i do have this memory of when utah had the indoor soccer team Freeze or whatever the heck their name was. they had this FREAKY mascot...it was like a giant blue bear looking thing with dreads. (i tried finding a picture but i couldnt. okay, actually i didnt really try that hard. but you'll get over it)

so we had like season tickets or something, i dont even remember. all i know is we went a lot. and one time we went with these people in the neighborhood (i've had a crush on one of their sons since like...age 6) so blah blah blah, we're just at the game having a jolly good time..and then one of the worker guys comes over and asks if our family wants to go on the field during halftime and play one of the shooting games or whatever, and i was really excited at first! but then the fear of having to see that freaking mascot up close came over my entire body and i could not make myself get down on that stupid field. so one of the boys from the other family went in my place.

can i be a bigger baby!?

and at soccer games even know...me being a freaking 18 year old adult...i see that stupid mascot and my stupid heart like POUNDS and i sweat! once i spent the whole game running around the stadium because i swear he follows me everywhere i go. i'll hide in the bathroom foreverrrrrr.

it's kind of embarrassing..i cant believe i am even admitting all of this. i guess it doesnt even matter to anyone else.

oh well, that's all i wanted to say. i always feel awkward ending blog posts..i never know what to say! i guess it's the same with my journal, i kinda just wanna end it mid sentence because i realize that what i'm talking about is soo lame and pointless. so i guess i'll just be done now....

got sweat?

2010-06-12T07:55:00.000-06:00

WOW so after what seems like 132 weeks of traveling, we're FINALLY in thailand! oh my goshhh! what a beautiful country it is! our hotel is right by this marsh/river thing. i thought it was the ocean, but this is still super cool!

The plane ride was MISRABLE to say the least. we went from slc to san fran, then from san fran to taiwan. aka i took an ambien to i could sleep on the flight, but i woke up when they were bringing the food around. i was super excited/hungry. and it was chicken! YUM my favorite, right? uhh no. never again. i ate it, and fell right back asleep. actually i might have fallen asleep while eating, i honestly cannot remember. but after a while of sleeping, i woke up to myself barfing alllll over the place. uh yeah. chicken, noodles, a roll. everywhere. i hardly remember this since i was so out of it and drugged up, but yes. there was puke all over me and my tray table. i woke up aaron who was next to me because i had no freaking idea what to do. and he looked at it and covered his nose. ha how rude. actually i would too, it was gross. then i like finally got the idea to call the flight attendant and there were like 8 of them standing there just looking at me and i was like. "i puuuuked." and so finally they got me some towels and what not. bless their hearts. luckily i had my blanket over my body, so i just wrapped it up and threw that and my pillow away. i was so bummed because that was my favorite travel blankie and pillow :(

oh well. i survived. then later i woke up and i couldnt remember if that whole thing was real or not because it was just so weird. but yeah it was real and i am super grossed out by myself. so i got up and took some pepto and hoped i would feel better and went back to sleep becase...what else are you going to do on a 13 hour flight? but i woke up AGAIN and was sick so i called the lady just in time for her to bring me a bag to puke in. yeah. at least this one was pink so it wasnt so bad to look at.

then we finally got to taipei (yeah, cant spell it. sorry. it's in taiwan though) and i thought i felt better until they had us get onto a tour bus. we had a 14 hour layover and they thought it would be fun to make barfy mallory get on an effing bus and drive around the entire country. yeah, i was so sick. and the tour guide, bless his heart, he was so cute but he just talked and talked and i was about to puke so finally i just grabbed him and i was like "get me a back or a garbage can because i'm going to puke" so he's like running around the bus for me. he was so sweet. so yeah, needless to say i just puked my guts out for like 3 days. i felt so stupid. and i couldnt stop crying! i was just so upset that i hadnt been able to freaking lay in a bed or puke in a real toilet or sleep for 3 days that i just wanted to cry all the time!

but finally i took some motion sickness medicine, passed out asleep on the bus, and felt a lot better :)

but now. i am in thailand. and i am hot. and sweaty. and sticky. and i am wearing so much sunscreen and bugspray i think if i wanted to i could climb up walls with my sticky skin.

probaby the best things that have happened to me so far:
1. sleeping in a bed
2. emily getting attacked in the shower by i lizard.
3. a girl finding a cocroach in her undies.
4. the taiwanese girl wearing a shirt that said "i love sweet hug?"
5. all of the BEAUTIFUL colors on temples and shrines.
6. the sweet kids that loved holding my hand and running around
7. biffing it while playing soccer
8. when the lady made me get up and dance in front of everyone durning the opening ceremonies.
9. brushing my teeth after not being able to for 3 days.
10. the bananas (i had 6 for lunch)
11. the surprise french fries for dinner
12. AIR CONDITIONING IN MY HOTEL ROOM.
13. this computer so i dont feel so lonely :)
14. the sooo cute thai baby i got to hold, but he was so afraid of me. probably because i'm white.
15. the pearls i got for SUPER cheap :)

now will someone please make it stop being sooo hot during the day?! i honestly might die. i cannot believe how hot it is. i wish you knew..ah.
i seriously just sweat from every part of my body.
even my butt.
yes. i have swass. and i hate it.

but i am hoping tomorrow i will be able to survive and get some good construction done! we're putting in ceptic tanks, building some building and then tiling a floor! sooo bring on the heat! (actually, dont. pray for cloud cover please)

i am sorry if i spelled every single word wrong in this post, i am so out of it and just like..brain dead i cant even like function. i am just thankful for the shower, even though it drips out one drop of water at a time.

anyways, i am safe and well and happy and hot! i hope everything in america is fine and dandy. i loove you all! :)

18 years...any regrets?

2010-05-28T23:32:00.002-06:00

you know when something big is about to happen, ooh lets just say..something like your graduation..and it makes you look back on your life and think if you would have done anything differently,or if you have any regrets? wellllll i've been actually thinking a lot about it because of my whole tech center graduation, and now my high school graduation. it's just weird. but honestly, i wouldnt go back.

i love who i turned out to be, and honestly that's good enough for me. granted, i dont have a lot of friends, but i'm okay with that. i dont feel like i need to be impressing other people, or trying to fit in with everyone, and i really love that about me. i know that's kinda weird, but it's just how i am i guess :) i also really like that i am not afraid to stand up for myself, or say no to people when i really mean no.

what's weird is, no matter how much i hated the tech center, i loved it at the same time. i found out what i DIDNT wanna do when i grow up, i made a lot of friends, i found out what kinds of boys to NOT date, andddddd i learned that public speaking is one of my favorite things ever :)

i guess there are a few things i wish i would have done more in high school...maybe go on a date once in a while ;) or not be so afraid to trust people, but i suppose that'll just be something i need to work on!

the one thing i regret (that is actually probably the lamest thing ever) is once my family went on a vacation to sea world or something, and me and merrit had the chance to kiss a sea lion, but i chickened out. i wanna freakin kiss a sea lion!

anyways. i think my goal is to go on one date with one boy that i can actually stand before i leave for thailand. i have two weeks. blahhh.

maybe i should change that goal right now. it's a lot harder then you think it is! i mean, i realize i'm weird..but really, come one. at least i make good conversation! anyways, i hope i get to kiss a sea lion one day, that's all i ever think about. maybe riding a elephant in thailand will make up for it. but knowing me i am going to chicken out. except i did pet a rhino, sooooo maybe i'm being less of a chicken.

oh wait no. i am still terrified of mascots. :( poooo. one day...i'll be brave :)

i have become "diner girl"

2010-05-24T23:19:00.002-06:00

oookay. so i started my new job at the cafe in lifetime, and i really like it! the first day i was really scared and overwhelmed, but now i feel less stupid and i am kinda getting the hang of it, but i mean, it's only been two days so i'm not a professional or anything.

but anyways, onto the topic of this little post.

it seems to be that all the rich and popular boys from my school just sit and hang out at the cafe. i swear they come in three times a day and eat a bazillion foods. well this makes it super awkward for me because i kinda know some of them, and i think they know me, but i know all of them..just from seeing them at school..i mean they're popular everyone knows of them! anyways so they come in today, and i would just smile at them and try not to die of awkwardness. but they like refused to look at me! it was weird! and then this kid ordered a pizza and went and sat down, and i was just cleaning up the sitting area. so the lady made the pizza, and called his name and walked away, but he didnt hear. so i felt obligated to take him this stupid pizza with these 7 guys around him.
so i get up enough courage to grab the pizza and walk it over to them, and i got there and i was like "HI! this is blah blah blah's pizza" and nobody even looked at me, soo i was like ookay.
and then i looked at this one kid and i was like, is you're name blah blah blah. and they didnt look AGAIN. so i was like okay. i am going to throw this pizza at the wall and run into the back room and cry because i feel like such an idiot. so i just set the pizza down in front of a random boy as i yell you're welcome to the world and run away.
man. this story was a lot more awkward when it happened, now it just sounds stupid. maybe i'm writing it in a stupid way but this is all i've got right now.
BOO.

i wish i could explain to you the awkwardness of it. i felt like the girl on a Cinderella story and all the popular people are so mean.

but seriously, other than that i really love my job! the people are so nice!

also, school is almost over. i have half of my math final to finish and then i am DONE. i seriously cannot believe this! I AM GRADUATING! i dont know when that happened, but i like the sound of it :)

i had seminary graduation on sunday, and it felt sooo good to be done! OH i also gave a church on sunday, yeah, i dominated. too bad nobody was there to hear it, but i just whipped that thing out!i was really impressed with myself. you know, no matter how much i complain about that tech center class i did, i am SO thankful for the public speaking skills that i learned, because i am so much more confident and good at public speaking! not a nervous freak who cant spit words out!

oh but anyways, back to what i wanted to say about seminary graduation. when it was my turn to walk up, i got SO nervous! like i felt like i was walking so weird and i got stressed out for the real high school graduation because i have to walk a lot farther, and with a ton more people watching me and i really am stressing about this! so i need to practice my walk, maybe i'll watch more america's next top model so i can get some good pointers. yeah. that's probably a good idea.

this is what i'm going to do twice a day, every day until i get my walk DOWN.

what the what!?

2010-05-19T14:58:00.002-06:00

okay sooo i start my new job today :) i dont know if i said this ever but i got a job at LIFETIME FITNESS :) i am so freaking excited. i will be working in the cafe and bistro thing there, and i really cant wait! i hope i'm not bad at it..not gunna lie i'm kinda nervous! but the people there seem really cool annnddd it seems just like a fun place! so anyways, i am really excited.

oh, also...school sucks. the end.

oh but yesterday i was at the gym and i was talking to this random girl about i dont know what..but anyways she told me about this website called myfitnesspal.com and she said its kinda like a weight loss tracker/food journal/exercise helper thing that like you can type in all your information and it helps you track how many calories you should be eating, how much you should be working out, ect. to meet your goal weight by a certain date...it seemed really cool! i havent had time to check it out, but it seemed sweeett to me. sooo for all my family members that are doing this crazy biggest loser competition (p.s. i am going to win) but its free! so sign up and geeeet going! :)

also, graduation in like TWO weeks.
thailand in three. WHAT THE WHAT?! how did that sneak up on me?! well i am selling sonic value cards that have a lot of buy one get one free things, and all the money is going towards rebuilding the school in thailand that was crashed down my the tsunami sooo if you're interested, they are $10 and just contact me! i'd love to get ya one. anyways, either email mallory-kay@hotmail.com or facebook, text, ya know...whatever :)

also..this saturday we are having a garage sale, i am not sure of the exact location..but i'll keep you posted! we'll be selling not trashy stuff! i promise! we'll have the cards there, we'll have food, it'll be fun i promise! :)

procrastination

2010-05-10T14:39:00.002-06:00

Okay so i have to give a 10 minute speech tomorrow...30 slides...video clips..all of that jazz. but what is the only thing i can think about?
toast.

i freaking love toast. i wish i could steal all the bread from great harvest and make it into toast and then slap some butter on it and eat it all the time.

it is freaking amazing.

anyways...i thought of something else that gives me anxiety...

having to deal with my passport in the airport. i have like legit anxiety that i am going to lose it, and get stuck somewhere and yada yada yada. i like check my bag for it 14 times while standing in some ten minute line...i cant help it! i guess it's better than not caring and leaving it somewhere. but sometimes i just feel like i'm so obsessed with not losing it that i am going to lose it.

anyways...i came up with a few things that i cant stand:

1. friction. like rubbing my hands together. skin on skin contact..HATE it.
2. tinfoil. i just hate it.
3. when people scratch the carpet with their fingernails.
4. touching paper after washing my hands.
5. the sound of forks on glass plates

okay i think that's all. i NEED to write this stupid speech.uuugh.

i'm a gleek...

2010-05-04T21:21:00.003-06:00

i adore glee. more than anything in the world. i wish it was my life. i want to date finn. mostly i want to marry finn actually. today they had the BEST episode. seriously..ice ice baby and cant touch this..how can you say that's bad!

i am also stressed out up to my eyeballs. i have to give two speeches this week, and then one huge one next week. thanks to my wonderful father i got rid of my nervous breakdown and actually tackled that project. i'm so thankful for him :)

okay ah. i am having a hard time typing this post because i am so consumed with watching glee. seriously, if you dont watch it i will let you come to my house and watch every single episode with me, because...it's wonderful. :)

anyways. sorry...bye!

why is it so hard for me...

2010-04-29T20:39:00.002-06:00

why is is so hard for me to lose weight? i freaking work out 2 hours a day..for 5 days a week and still just cant lose one single freaking pound. i am sick of it. i want to punch someone in the face. probably the lady that teaches turbokick because she hurts my entire body for the next 4 days. seriously, like i woke up the next day and i couldnt get out of bed! my legs hurt, my back hurt, my abs hurt, my shoulders hurt, my arms hurt, my everything hurt. oh but wait, NOTHING has happened for like..seriously 3 months.

POOOOO! :(

anyways, i cleaned my room today. it was great. except i mostly just hung up my clothes, and stacked all the random things on a table and covered it with one of those things that you stick your face in and then take a picture with it. its a girl getting out a limo. dont ask me why i have it, but if you ever need it...i've got you covered.

its also really hard for me to force myself to post things! i dont know why even because i seriously go through the whole day thinking about all the funny and interesting things i can write about on my blog, but i get home and i cant even remember one thing that i thought of! maybe someone needs to buy me a little notebook called "things i thought of during the day that i really need to blog about" yeah, i think thats a really good idea. :)

so freaking. less that 26 days of school and it gets harder and harder for me to go by the day. i dont understand how people say they are going to miss high school, i honestly couldnt care less about those people. i have no sadness in my heart for leaving. no offense or anything to any of you out there, i just do not feel attached to you AT ALL.

its also hard for me to give a crap about anything. yeah, enough said.

but good news...I FINISHED SEMINARY MAKE UP FINALLY. oh hello. i am freaking graduating seminary with my 4 year freaking degree. surpriseeeee. i am impressed with myself because seriously, i had a lot to make up. but..GO ME!

anyways. i leave for thailand soon. one day we might be having a fundraiser so you better check this often so i can remind you, and you can come and give my team money so the cute kiddies in thailand will be so happy with all the wonderful stuff that we can do for them :)

woohoo.

anyways. my mother made dinner. at nine o'clock at night. sooo i suppose i will go eat with my family.

oh also, i love the tv show parenthood. please watch it. you'll die. unless you're my mom...then you'll cry.
pfff.

THAT was close.

2010-03-28T01:00:00.002-06:00

woahhh now. i was sitting here (not being able to sleep) and realized that there are only three more days in March...THREE. yesterday i was celebrating my freakin birthday and then BAM all of a sudden it's practically april. when in the heck did any of this happen?!

that's mostly the question i've been asking all year. what.the.heck.

like hello. my life is about to change forever. i am moving out. going to college. growing up. i dont want to grow up, i dont even know how! and i have to probably start acting civilized, and get a job, and make friends or something.

oh for heck sakes. i might be married in like...the next five years.

but first i have to figure out how to get a date.

boo on growing up. it's freaking me out. also the fact that time flies, really is super crazy too. i want to build a time machine and go back to when i was a little baby and people would just feed me and carry me around and let me watch cartoons all day. That would probably be the best thing EVER.

or at least i need to get a job so i can stop stressing about money so much. it's really starting to get on my nerves. actually, everything is.
mostly all i do is eat, sleep, watch tv and go to the gym.everything else can just disappear.

but really, i love my life. i have the best family that anyone could ask for and i am so thankful that they always have my back and i dont need anyone else in the world as long as i have them.
and i am sooo thankful to have all the things that i have, and be so blessed to have grown up with the church, because heaven knows where i'd be at this point in my life without is. probably in a mangled mess on the side of the road or something.

what an awesome life i have! seriously! :)

let me make you a promise...

2010-03-17T21:43:00.002-06:00

I have been thinking and thinking about how I can motivate myself to write more blog posts, because I really do enjoy it, I just never think I have anything worth while to say, but then again I never have anything worth while to say, but I say it anyways! so here is my promise...I will write at least two blog posts a month. I think that's a pretty rockin promise if you ask me, because really..nobody wants to hear more than that...then i'd just get boring and..annoying.

so everyone who constantly bothers me about writing more, be happy with this little promise i'm giving you.
hm..i dont know if i really want to call this a promise, it's kinda freaking me out a little. maybe a challenge. yeah! i like that more, because if i dont do it, people wont come after me and use it against me. so go back and read everything i just wrote, but instead of the word promise replace it with challenge :)

there. now you cant hold it against me when i fail. HA.

anyways, so mostly all i wanted to say was uh HELLO. i saw my heart on an ultrasound they did on it. you know when preggo ladies see their little baby and nobody can tell what it is and they're freaking out because "oh my gosh it's a sea monkey in your belly that is currently half tadpole" WELL i saw my heart, but guess what. it looked like the things in the pictures and movies and commercials, only A LOT COOLER BECAUSE IT WAS MY OWN HEART NOT SOME FAKE ONE THAT THEY MIGHT HAVE MADE UP. i was so excited. i am still exctited. i tell practically everyone about it, but nobody seems to be as excited as me!

probably because they are jealous. and they have a right to be, because it was SO COOL.

the poor lady doing it was probably so annoyed because i kept talkig and talking about how excited i was about it, but really, it was so cool.

and i saw it beating. and i had these flappy things moving around. and it was rushing blood in and out, and i was just so amazed! i wish i would have gotten a picture of it. i would frame it and put it on the shelf above my bed. you may thing i am weird, but seriously, if you ever got the chance to see that, you would be going on and on and on about this too. because really. ah.

i loved it so much. but anyways, moral of the story. i have a heart :)horray for me.

i also had to get my blood drawn (gosh you'd think i was near death with all the times that i go to the doctor!) but i was all by myself and it was my first time and i was so so nervous because i hate needles and doctors and mean things and mostly just the thought of it, but the lady was so nice! i asked her if there was anyone to hold my hand, and i think she thought i was kidding because she just laughed at me! but i wasnt kidding! i wanted someone to hold my hand!

anyways. she stuck that thing into me and i sang a song to her and then she was done and it didnt even hurt and i didnt even cry or scream!

yay for me! i think maybe i am one step closer to being able to survive in the world of college. yesssssss.

school is going good if you were wondering.
i dont go that much, so maybe it's worse off than i think..but hey. i can do that.

OH MY GOSH. i did get chased down by this lady though. i walk in at like...8:50..and my class started at 9. this lady came runnningggg up to me yelling "YOU CANT COME HERE! YOUR SHORTS ARE TOO SHORT!" and i was so confused because really she could have been having a heart attack about the issue of me coming to school in some shorts. so i was just giving her my puzzled look and i was like um okay. i'll just go home and blah blah blah. i love how they would rather have me go home then stay in some shorts that werent even bad.

i am baffled. but i laughed. except i had to go to math because i need to pass that class so i walked out to my car, moved it to the back parking lot, and walked back into school.

so in your face heart attack lady :)

anyways. wow. i think i could write a book about stuff that has been going on! oh. but i do need some help. i need to plan a fundraiser to earn money for the microenterprise program that i'm helping with in thailand, but i am a little unsure of what to do for this fundraiser. i kinda want it to be a big deal, just because we'll be having 40+ people available to work on it, and we want to earn $2000+ soooooo if you have an idea, you should help me out :)

how much longer..

2010-02-19T14:49:00.004-07:00

how much longer..until winter is over...29 days

how much longer..until i graduate...WAY too long. like three months too long.

how much longer..do i have to endure this cold season and the death of school?

BOO. i am cold. and tired. and annoyed at all the things called school. and the tech center. and i guess since jordan school district got screwed over that the teachers are on strike or something stupid and they refuse to do any extracurricular activities. yes. this includes prom, spring sports, clubs. anything. LAME. but whatever. its not like i go anyways. i havent been to first period ALLLL quarter. and guess what..its midterms.BUT the upside of this? i havent been marked absent this whole time! HAHA! in your face attendance policy!

buttt guess what?! someone rubbed freakin poo. or chocolate. on my car! i'm freakin pissed off like no other! so if it was you, i will find you. and take you down.

i also found a new love. exercise! i thought i hated it..but guess what? i totally dont! mostly i love going to the classes, even though they're harder than heck...its so fun! so my lovely cousin melanie inspired me to do something great called one day i am going to be just like her and be an instructor! because..how fun would that be!?

OH. also...i really enjoy this one person called this kid that works there. :) only secretly so you cant tell anyone. i told my mom and then made her come and look a him..and she wasnt impressed with his looks. but i am!YEAH I AM.

but whatever. its not like i can get a normal date to save my life.
anyways, last weekend was my WONDERFUL grandma's 70th birthday. she is one of the greatest people in the entire world. and i'm not even kidding. so we had a huge celebration to...celebrate of course! we had a yum yum yummy dinner and then shared the things we loved about her..and then..DANCE PARTY BABY! :) it was probably the best thing ever..and i got to wear my audrey hepburn dress. LOVE IT. i guess i'll add some pictures or something..

WOAH. I JUST HAVE DEJAVU ABOUT WRITING THIS BLOG. weirdy. haha.

Valentines Day...

2010-02-12T15:24:00.002-07:00

soooooo..as we all know i should be at the gym, but i could NOT keep this to myself. you guys have no idea what kind of treat you are in for today ;)

i have been thinking, thinking, thinking of what in the world should i get my valentines. (yes with an s. ;)) but anyways. of course i waiting until the LAST SECOND to do any of my shopping, and praise the lord i found the PERFECT gift of all time.

so everyone. here it is. i know you're searching too and you just cant find the right thing. well, folks. the heavens have answered our prayers. its the "warmest most personal gift you can share!" hazza!

this is why i'm weird.

2010-02-07T21:53:00.002-07:00

i made a list of things that give me anxiety, as you know :) and its GREAT! actually i haven't read it in almost two months...weirdy weird weird how time flies! and i wasnt even having fun. but anyways. this list only contains a few things that give me extreme anxiety to the point of i might rip my hair out.

dont make fun of me. mmkay? actually..you can. because i make fun of myself. i love it.

okay!

ehm..
THINGS THAT GIVE ME ANXIETY: (by the way, its a long list.)

1. when people walk around the airplane when the seatbelt sign is on.
2. when i want to sing, but i dont know the words
3. proper people
4. college
5 everything except chocolate and harry potter
6. being fat
8. techno music
9. my mental issues
10. peeing on airplanes
11. ghostbuster airplane toilet movie
12. loud flushing toilets
13. having my brain stem ache and merrit not being there to massage it.
14. boys that wear basketball (or any sports clothes) 24/7
15. small areas
16. chipped fingernail polish
17. when people i dont know make me eat at their house
18. nylons
19. Mrs. Pay
20. sharing rooms with people
21. grimy things that i can escape.
22. people who are over the age of two and still dont brush their hair.
23. playing games with my mom
24. getting on/off trains
25. not knowing what time it is
26. mumblers
27. my room that becomes magically messy
28. MATH.
29. driving at night
30. driving in traffic
31. driving a mini van
32. being the only person in a store
33. intense face to face conversations
34. kash.
35. computers
36. people telling me important things because i always forget to listen
37. recipts that i dont know where to put but i know i'll maybe need them one day because maybe i want to take this item of clothing that i bought back.
38. too small of jeans
39. trying to fall asleep with glasses on my face and then it hurts but i dont know where to put them
40. having to use the bathroom but being at someones house were its really a lotta bit to awkward to do it.

:) okay i guess i'll stop there.

even while writing that i kinda get like the inside anxiety thing going on! what the heck!
anyways. what things give you anxiety?! i wanna know!

My Lists

2010-01-16T22:25:00.002-07:00

So as we all know, i made a couple of lists while over the Christmas break. Believe it or not these lists practically define my life. So I thought it would be appropriate to share them with you...so here you go. I am going to type exatly what i wrote in black, and then add my own little commentary in red. just so you aren't totally confused with my strange thinking brain.

LIST #1

reasons why why I cant be granola

1. -----------^ (exactly that. i wrote two why's. i am not sure why. or what was going on with my brain at that moment...but...i did it nonethelesss.)
2. too fat (they gotta be a bean pole)
3. pure white baby skin (i am sensitive to the sun! :( and my body refuses to get tan.)
4. I cant breathe in the wilderness.
5. I hate hairy armpits (they hurt!)
6. greasy hair. (it seriously grosses me out. and i get it in like 45 minutes so not showering for 3 weeks is out of the question. plus if i dont shower every day i get hair hurt!)
7. I HATE ALL THE CHACOS IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD.
8. my back hurts
9. MOLE (its gross. you cant be granola and have a huge fat mole on your face)
10. too short of hair. (i feel like you need to have long hippy hair. i dont.)
11. too short (again with the bean pole thing.)
12. no red hair for me (unless its fake)
13. i have zits
14. my voice is too loud
15. i love tv. (so sue me! i find pleasure in mindlessly watching tv for an evening.)

wow! this is exciting. believe me....the next list is the best. but i am thinking i will save it for another post...just because people always tell me i dont post enought, but sometimes i just have nothing to say! so if i do this..i can have something to say and post more often! plus i have a lot of things i need to add to this next what.

PREVIEW: Things that give me ANXIETY.

believe me it is going to be good :) tune in soon.

who made up the thing called college?!

2010-01-13T20:55:00.002-07:00

so hello. college is coming closer and closer and it gives me stress!
i am not exactly sure what i am supposed to do and i feel like the whole thing is a big huge mystery! also, there is so much to do it just is a lotta bit too stressful! like figuring out what classes to take, what i want to major in, where to live, who to live with, where to find money (#1 stress causer), ect.

I was like really wanting to major in baking and pastry arts, open my own little shop blah blah blah. but now i dont really feel like i want to do that! When we were in Mexico most of the spanish speakers got sick and couldnt go to the village, so i had to teach the students. and it just made me realize how much i loveee working with kids and teaching. But you see..there is a problem with that because i HATE the school system. I think it is such a terrible way to grade students and just..boo! the way the conduct everything drives me crazy.

I also dont want to be in the position of "the teacher" nor do i want to deal with being in the position of being constantly bothered by the people higher up in the system.

Thats hard for me though because i love teaching and the kids so much! arghhh.

Anyways so that is what is in my brain right now. interesting? NOT. it never is.

Today i learned a valuable lesson...dont try and text and play bejewled at the same time. it really is super hard! and people get mad at you because you dont text the words right. so just if the thought ever runs through your mind, DONT DO IT!

hmm. i got my new birthday laptop in the mail today :) it has been on since 2:30 and being used, of course! there is so much to do! and i figured...i might as well update my blog because i could either work out, go to bed, or do this. and i picked this.

but it is such a nice laptop! i am practically obsessed with it. i took like 800 pictures of myself with the camera webcam thingy. soo entertaininggggg!

also, i am watching high school musical 3. i know its like a super dorky movie and what not, but i am not going to lie i love it. i secretly wish that my life was that movie. or actually maybe i wish i looked like vanessa, and had a hottie like zac!

i could write a book about all the movies i wish my life were like. buttt instead i wont because that would probably be the worlds most boring book in the entire planet earth! but i did make a few lists of things while i was sitting on the plane to mexico! it was the best thing ever. i will give you a little preview.
1. reasons why i am not granola
2. things that give me anxiety
3. colors that make me want to puke.

:) you're going to enjoy them. but too bad for you because i am wayyy too lazy to walk down to my bedroom to get my notebook.

Tom, this is for you ;)

2009-12-22T22:14:00.003-07:00

So practically the only person that whines to me that i dont write enugh on my blog is my cute uncle tom :) so bud, this is for you!

Lets see. December 22..you'd think..OH! the kids are all out of school because its christmas time, and schools cant be THAT mean to the children...HA! i wish. yes. i will be attending school until the FREAKIN 23 OF DECEMBER. that is..the day before christmas ever (which in my head is better than christmas) so..screw them!

I also found out that i hate driving. Well, you see. I hated it before i even told you this, but the fact that there is about 234236 million inches of snow on the ground, and the people refuse to plow the roads that i drive on..it really makes my life a lot harder then i should be! and i mean A LOT.

5 minute drive to the gym? 20 minutes

15 minute drive to school? 30 minutes (BUT! i was on time :) )

but all is well, because i am escaping on SATURDAY. horray for mexico. horray for partying in mexico on new years. horray for working my butt off and serving these people like nobodys BIDNESS! (business...)

Also, when i get home (January 3) i will go to sleep that night. and when i wake up, it will be my 18th birthday. have i even thought about this? no. thinking about it brings me to tears...

all i want for my birthday is to be 1 for the rest of my life. so please reverse time and make it happen. or i will sulk for the rest of my life, and you'll be sorry. verrry very soorry.

doom on birthdays though. i really hate them because you build up this great thing in your mind that these friends that you really dont have all of a sudden pop up and make it the best day of the year and you are so happy and you have all your dreams come true and you just make up this huge fantasy...but then in reality you get a pair of socks and a text from your grandma, and 6 people write on your facebook wall that say happy birthday. but they really dont give a crap. the only reason they did it was because they saw it pop up on the side when they logged on to stalk some boy thats in their math class, but they've never talked to in their life.

so doom on the thing they call birthdays. (:

ALSO WHY IS IT SO FREAKIN COLD EVERYWHERE I GO.

also...

eh actually that's all.

Just a little update :)

2009-12-03T17:46:00.002-07:00

welp, i am pretty sure i have a total of 0 people reading this anymore, but i dont care! i am still going to write my little heart away because I WANT TO! (:

1. guess who FINALLY quit red hanger?! :) MEEEEEEE! i have never been so happy in my entire life!
2. i hate..hate..HATE. stupid winter. i hate being cold. i hate going outside. i hate being inside (because everyone in the world refuses to freakin turn the heater on) and i hate the fact that mrs. pay turns the air conditioner on during tech center!
3. i am addicted to mylifeisaverage.com--seriously addicted.
4. if its going to be so darn cold, why cant they freakin make it snow?! WHAT THE HECK.
5. its almost my birthday (: january 4, dont forget!
6. VIVA MEXICO POR CHRISTMAS. i leave the 26. heckkkkk yeah baby.
7. my brain is exploding out every hole in my head. why you ask? i'm pretty sure its because i am so smart that its just growing, and my head wont fit it.
actually..its because i freakin have a brain tumor i bet.
8. yesterday, i tickled a goat, a cow, a chicken, a camel, and 3 sheep (: they loved it.
9. if i could drink hot chocolate for every meal, i would
10. stop bringing me so much food- i'm getting fat.

i have nothing to say.

2009-10-24T11:21:00.002-06:00

i have nothing to say anymore. except i just wanna give a shout out to BRECK. because i love him :) aka we're the best friend in the world and we're so funny and cool and exciting and interesting and popular and all the good words in the world.

but anyways, forreals. school needs to be done right now. but i am officially 25% done with my senior year. that means, in 75% i will be done, and ready to .MOVE.OUT. but i am pretty sure everyone is ready for me to do that one

i am transferring out of chinese :) at first i loved it, but really...like we havent learned ANYTHING new, and my teacher is so annoying, and i got 0/13 on my quiz, so therefore i am taking the easy way out and being a teachers aid! which will be exciting because, how can it not be!

other then that everything is pretty great!

except for my job :) but that's always been bad. but now it's REALLY bad. can you believe it's been a year since i've worked there? A YEAR! i just cant even believe how fast time flies, and i wasn't even having any fun at all!...strange.

umm. oh so big news...I AM GOING TO THAILAND THIS SUMMER! yeah yeahhhh!!!! i am pretty much so excited i cant even contain it! :) i mean, it will never be able to compare to the love i have for kenya, but really. it's freakin gunna be way fun :)

and then going to mexico over christmas. oh the joy my life brings me :)

anyways, if you want to give me money for my trip i wouldnt mind. because little dry cleaning girl has no money. of course.

boo for red hanger.

creepy much?

2009-09-15T20:49:00.002-06:00

baha. i love it when i find out people read my blog...it just brightens my days...especially my bad ones ;)

BUT! i guess this is my moment to promote my kenya trip!
(i think everyone in the whole world (of america) should do it, honestly)
today i did a presentation at my school for some seniors about it, and i was all excited and what not and i was talking about it blah blah blah, and they just were watching me like i was the biggest nut job on the face of the whole entire earth, but whatever. i love it.

anyways. if you want to get involved, go to youthlinc.org
you can go to more places than just kenya! they have mexico, and peru, and thailand, and kenya! it's absolutely amazing! it requires a lot of work and dedication and...passion. but believe me it's worth it!

in kenya...i taught in the school classes. we set up a soccer league for all the schools, and took over balls and jerseys and taught them drills and how to make a bracket so that they could have their own little tournament sorta thing! then we also helped start to build a secondary school. and we helped in the hospital, set up a library for the community, we threw a carnival, we did cultural exchanges. we went to church and visited peoples houses and farms and..bah! there is so much! i really need to one day post my journal entries. sorry i havent talked about it AT ALL. i am a horrible person. but i dunno..it's so hard to describe the feelings and events and like..everything i saw. and i so badly want to put it in words, or capture everything i saw and felt in a bottle and give every single on of you a piece of that because it brought me the most joy i have felt in my entire life.

AMAZING I TELL YOU!

:)

it is official.

2009-09-12T10:58:00.002-06:00

i am so horrible at this blogging thing. so boo on me.
i have so so much to say but i can NEVER find the time to do it!plus i hate these stupid computers that we have so, i try and stay off as much as possible.
but hmm..lets see the important news for ya'll
1. humanitarian trip to mexico with the family for christmas! i'm so so super excited you dont even know!
2. i'm signing up to go to Thailand with youthlinc next summer!
3. i adore school. seriously. i look forward to it over the weekends, and it's never hard for me to get out of bed. it's just the best thing that ever happened to me! i only go to bingham half day, then i go to the tech center for my business management training program...and let me tell you, it's a lotta bit like heaven on earth. the teachers are amazing, and i've met soo many freakin awesome people! it's just so great.

but at the school, i am taking chinese (yes, yes. it's true. i will be fluent. i looove it!) umm seminary (BOOOO), government (which totally sucks. i am so glad i took ap classes my other two years of high school, because honestly..this class is so painful), and daycare (aka i love it).

then after tech center (which doesnt have air conditioning by the way) i go to worky work (which i am soooo close to quitting. all i need is just another job) then i come home, eat. and sleep. then have great dreams of waking up and going to school again! it's just great :)

boring summer days...

2009-08-18T19:15:00.003-06:00

so what comes out of my boring summer days you ask? well...

1. a lot of sitting around :)

2. phineas and ferb aka best show ever :)

3. i make cakes!

so this is my result of my lazy tuesday...

the worlds bestttttt book of mormon cake.

made for the seminary teachers (by me), just to kick off the new year, and to show them how exciteddd i am to study the book of mormon, and maybe (secretly) to gain some brownie points so they'll forget to mark me absent once in a while ;)

whoever said i am no handyman, obviously knows nothing.

2009-08-11T14:28:00.003-06:00

ehm. TADA. yes, i put this lovely piece of work together all by myself, and might i add it looks absolutely fabulous in my lovely bedroom.

and i am talking about the lamp. yes.

oh and plus. if you can see my shelf above my bed, i totally africanized it. it's quite impressive if you ask me. you should come by and take a gander one of these days :)

miss me?!? :)

2009-08-07T23:08:00.003-06:00

haha. well i kinda gave up on this whole blog thing, it was fun but i am not such a good writer!

and its not just blogs

1. papers.

2. emails.

3. letters.

4. essays.

5. journals.

6. everything.

but oh well, i guess it's something i'll have to learn to live with i suppose.

hmm i've had an eventful summer. i cant even believe all the fun things i've done! i meannn i went to africa for heck sakes.

anyways...i just got back from the denison family reunion at reid ranch. :) it was actually fun.

i shot a lottsssss of arrows. probably that's my favorite pass time almost ever.

and then i did paddle boats, which was tiring.

and thenn...hmm mostly it rained the whole time, but i swam! and i sat in the hot tub for many a hours.

and i ate, and ate, and ate until my stomach exploded two times.

and then i laid around a lot and slept.

it was lovely :)

but then i had to come back and work. and then babysit. but i liked that part :)

but not work.

i hate work.

and tomorrow i have a loooooooong day of work ahead of me. so if anyone wants to, they can feel bad for me.

so boo. i am sick of the sun. i would like it to rain a little bit more.

i also was going to try and finish the book of mormon by the end of the summer, but i have a total of 19 days left and i'm only in alma 42. so screw that idea.

anyways. my forever long day awaits me so i better get some sleepy.

1. sorry i am boring and never have anything to say.

2. sorry i never write anything

3. sorry all i do is whine, buttt welcome to my life.

wow dont i just love my job.

2009-07-22T10:58:00.001-06:00

actually no. i dont. not at all.
i love that when i actually try to help out, i get yelled at.
i love that i go in and actually work, and get in trouble. but the other kid sits and freakin reads! and neverrrrr gets yelled at.
red hanger=death.
never go there. never work there.
whatever

mostly i just want someone to tell me that a daycare is hiring, and then i get that job and my life will be completeeee :)
yes please.

for your own entertainment...

2009-07-13T11:37:00.003-06:00

soo guess who's home!

2009-07-08T17:24:00.002-06:00

horray i made it! and i had the time of my life.
i have superrrrrr bad jet lag though, and i thought 14 hours of sleep would do the trick...but i think it's worse today! so i will post pictures and all my journal entrys (minus the mean things i had to say about some people) up some other day.
i swear my head is going to explode.
but i had the time of my life, i hate being home!
except i did gain a new love for america...a deep deep love.
:)

KENYA OR BUST!

2009-06-23T16:12:00.002-06:00

well guys, i have zero time but i just wanted to tell ya'll that i'm off to kenya! after hours, and hours of service, and all ya'lls money i'm off!

i dont think i'll have any internet access, but i'll keep a good journal and take wonderful pictures. thanks for all your support and please keep me in your prayers! haha...

ahhhh i'm so scareddd. to death. i have a constant stomach ache, and cry baby eyes.

but i cant wait for my life to be changed.

mmmm...cavities

2009-06-17T10:38:00.003-06:00

HAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

that's all i have to say about this picture.

oooh ya gotta love the numb face :)

can you keep a secret?

2009-06-13T22:21:00.002-06:00

...well that's what the name of the book is that i am currently reading.
soo good.

soo soo soo good.
i am honetly addicted. like really i laugh out loud to myself while reading it, i carry it everywhere i go. and yes i mean EVERYWHERE. just in case i will get an extra four minutes to read it.

i am addicted to it. sometimes i forget that it's
1. not real life. just a story.
2. not my life. i put myself in the characters shoes and, bam. i feel like all the horrible things happening in the book, are really my problems. i get really upset, mad, and discouraged about life! but then i just remember it's not real and not my life, so to stop. but i cant. i am sucked into it. addicted. "grabbed" but only you would get that part if you read the book.

when was the last time i have ever...EVER read a book? NEVER. i took ap lit and i didnt read a whole one of those books. i just get bored. but the writer is so funny! she kinda reminds me of me, just more clever and entertaining.

she's the one that wrote "confessions of a shopaholic" aka...saw the movie, but i am definately reading the book. it's on hold as we speak :)

but really. that's all i had to say. i had to let it out that if i am acting weird, i probably am just forgetting that the story isnt my life, and the things happening in the book are false.

oh but i have a question for the world. why can i read this 354 page book in 4 days (i know i am a slow reader, i like to soak it in!) but it takes me A WHOLE YEAR to read the book of mormon?! so discouraging. but that's my goal. to finish it by the end of the summer. i took all year (well actualy from march to december 31) to read it last year, but i wanna do it quicker...to get ready for the seminary year of the book of mormon studies! i am so excited :) i know..i am a retard. but i have a secret love for seminary. anyways. i think you guys should do it too...with me! :) it'll be a battle. or maybe not. most likely not..you'll all just read this and laugh and be like...oh how silly. then i'll feel like a retard anddd

crawl in a hole and die. :)

i went to the melting pot again last night. with my best friend/ cousin cheryl.
oh how i love her :) it was so lovely. and all we did was laugh and eat and share common interest on how we hate sharing food, especially desserts.
that's going to be my problem when getting married, they'll be all "aww honey if you love me give me a bite of your brownie" and i'm like..."HELLO!!! NO WAY JOSE! honestly, i dont love you enought. get your own. i hate sharing, plus...you stink and fart in the bed."

so that's what'll go down. exactly like that.
well hopefully not. i hate bed farters ;)

oh gosh. how did i get to this topic.

umm i also went to the oqurrh mountain temple (p.s. whoever thought of how to spell that word must have thought they were really REALLY funny. but they're not. they confuse me, make me angry, and make me look stupid. so thanks for nothing oqurrh mountain person)
it's really pretty though. like really really pretty! :) and i liked all the pictures of jesus. and the refreshment tent. it was so elegant! :) expcept one problem: the cookies.
why do they have people handing them out? what if i want two cookies...is that so bad?! what if i'm homeless and that's the only food i'll have in the week. are they going to deprive me of one more cookie?! really?!

thats all i have to say about that. but yes..truely upsetting on the cookie ordeal.

i have so much to say...and zero brain power to say it.

2009-06-05T14:00:00.003-06:00

so...my sister merrit makes lists for everything:
-her obession with different things
-she maps her day out
-aka. everything.
it drives me crazy, but i decided one day that i was going to make a list of things i should write about in my blog, so i wrote that wondeful list, and now i cant even find it. i am so so mad. but maybe it's under the piles, and piles, and piles of clothes in my room that i never feel like cleaning up because...i am way too lazy. it's starting to get out of control.

but...this morning was senior sunrise aka i stayed up all night(almost) and did all the most random things you could ever think of. it was so fun though...but my WHOLE day was filled to the brim of things to do. first me and emily took her little sister to the zoo, which it was perfect weather! the sun was behind clouds, but it wasnt too cold. i loved it more than anything. and it wasn't even too stinky!
and then we went to jamba juice. can you say berry lime sublime? :)
thennn it was off to bowling ( i have free bowling passes for all summer...so that's why we went. we only like to do free things, or coupon things are good too. the zoo was free. it was lovely)
thennn we watched house bunny, aka funniest movie ever created. it's not as bad as you might think, it's mostly just freakin hilarious.
then after that...we went to dinner with my mama :) i just love her, she's such a cutie! and me and emily shared a burrito, but we had a dilema because she likes black beans, and i like the refried ones, so we begged the nice man to split it half and half, so he did. i wanted to kiss him. but not really.
so after that, we went to this really weird party where we didnt really know anyone, well we knew them...but we werent really friends with any of them so it was just one hundred percent awkward, so we played tetherball for like a million hours, and then they were starting a movie aka kungfu panda, so we left because we were going to see a drive in, but my mom had that bad mom feeling about it, so we didnt even end up going. so instead we went to 24 hour fitness (for free) and watched tv and walked around and sat in the hot tub, and sat in the steam room, and did all the fun things. but then we left
and we were trying to find more 24 hour places, and macy's popped into our brains.
WHO WOULDA KNOWN THAT PLACE WAS OPEN ALL DAY AND NIGHT!?
so we got a giant doughnut and got half price because it was one day old..but really it wasnt, it was just after midnight so we got it for 55 CENTS!
then we came to my house and had juice, and watched tv, but emily fell asleep and i wasnt even tired so i was up until like 3! and then i went to sleep for like two hours, we went to the school and ate and watched the no sunrise becasue it as hiding. and then we came home and fell asleep again until 10.
thennnnn we went to the seminary bbq, which was rainy and we didnt know anyone. but we had to say farewell to the dear sweet seminary teachers (aka brother downs) :( i'm really upset that he's going to alta.
but by the way, i found another potential husband.
just if you wanted to know that.

it's raining outside and i love it.

i bought new shoes. and some shorts. and some earrings.
the shorts are probably the best things ever because they definately cover up my muffin top fat.
and they are not ugly and skin tight.
and they are just so comfortable.
and only sometimes can you see my jiggly leg fat.
AND THE BEST PART IS THEY WERE ONLY 12 DOLLARS.

okay forreals i need to eat some real food before i die.

what a day!

2009-05-17T11:49:00.003-06:00

i dont really know what the title is referring to...but i just wanted to put that.
i hate that i cant remember anything funny that happens in my life! i think i need to invest in a "blog journal" aka something that helps me remember all the good ideas that i come up with in life so i can have something interesting to tell all you guys!

the whole last night i thought i was going to DIE! my stomach hurt so bad and i was so unhappy...i when it came time to wake up for nine o'clock church...death was upon someone because i was so freakin tired. but i fell right back asleep and woke up at 11:40! i think i was just overworked, and so tireddddd. beyond belief. i feel a lil' bit better :) which is good.

so yesterday. i worked...and i love working saturdays because its 10-2..but i usually get off at like 12:30. so it's always just super joyous...umm i hope that's a word :)

and after work i came home and went to smiths marketplace with my dear sweet mother. there...i found my husband. which was great. but he ran away. then i was pushing the door open...AND IT CUT ME! :( i wanted to cry. and die. and kick someone. all at the same time.
but i kinda got over it after like half an hour...but it STILL HURTS. oh well... oh! hahaha this lady was giving out samples, and so me and my mom tried it. i guess it was kashi bars or something. and i took one bite and spit it out and i was like it tastes like smashed together dirt! and there was this lady going to pick it up, and she most definately got the most terrified look on her face, and put it back down and ran away. then i bought this lip gloss...which i thought would be normal and good, but i forgot that it said "lip plumper". NEVER EVER GET IT. it feels like a million knives are stabbing into your lip soul. and then if you lick your lips, it gets on your tounge and it hurts even worse!
but i got over that too. and the feeling kinda gets addicting. it's funny.

um then we went to zupas. where i ate way to much food, and i was fat doggin' it the rest of the night. i hated it. with a passion. but actually..the food was really good.

then the real game :). haha i decided a lot of things there.
1. i dont understand the people that can stand up and yell random weird things to the players/refs. dont they feel stupid? or how the heck to they come up with the fact that if you yell these things...anyone can hear you if they're on the field! like really!
2. who aspires to be a ref? like honestly...where do these people come from! it's a common fact that every single human beings hate them! so is that like their life goal? to become the most hated person ever? i dont get it...
3. mascots still suck.
4. i hate sitting close to people.
5. the world is full of way weird people that i am glad i have no association with.
6. i get so much anger and hatred when i watch soccer. like to the point where i would run on the field in a crazy rampage and just punch the refs. it's so hard for me to contain it, so i usually just sit there in silence just watching. but when in reality my insides are BURNING.

so that's that.

well ihave really bad morning breath. and nothing else to say at the moment. so i guess thats a sign for me to stop :)

adios.

one down, two to go.

2009-05-07T17:18:00.002-06:00

sooo...lets talk ap.

test one (aka literature): i either did really good, or i missed the boat completely and just..failed horribly. but it wasnt as bad as i thought. i really didnt feel the pressure that i felt when i took it in ninth grade. i guess that's because there really wasn't anything to study, and it was just a lucky guess test ;). or it might have been the fact that i was sitting in the corner of the debate room where it didnt feel very legit. but whatever it was...i'm glad it wasnt too hard :)

test two (aka us history): now that's where we worry. my teacher never taught us how to do a dbq (aka document based question). she just ran through the last stuff so freakin fast that NOBODY learned ANYTHING! soooo we all are going to fail...but at least we'll fail together eh? we have taken ONE just ONE practice test. what is she thinking?!!?!?! and no practice essays!! what the freakkkkk. but i'ma gunna get a 5! :)

so after tomorrow, at around noon my terrible hard life is over. no more english classes for the rest of my high school life, and no more history (well except us gov)! next year is going to be THE BOMB! just lemme tell ya my schedule
1-work release (aka sleep in)
2-seminary
3-4-tech center(business managment)
5-work release (aka sleep in)
6-us government
7-8- tech centerrrrr

so yeah. i am pumped :)

uhh so i leave in seven weeks for KENYA!!!!!!!
i need to start getting ready. i got my shots though! but it really is time to start planning my lessons. i have to teach abuse at the health fair, and animals at the schools. so if anyone has any cute games or little songs to play with the kids...i wouldnt mind suggestions. :)

and tomorrow is the 9th grade dance that my business class is putting on. so that will finally be over too! horrayyyy! i love the feeling of school winding down. its just the best! and the weather is so nice i just want to run around in a dress and sing all day long.

i really really really really want a dog :( i just cant even say that enough times!
maybe i'll go to the animal home(humaine society? is that what it's called) and just bring it home with me...once my dad looks into its way precious eyes he wont be able to say no :) (um dad, dont read that)

oh p.s. i gained a million pounds. but i've been trying to exercise a lotta lot more! i want to be able to run a 5k by the time i leave for kenya, so i am not the fat american girl that cant play soccer with the little kids because she is one hundred percent out of breath, and her fat is hanging over her pants and everyone is really grossed out. plus i just feel disgusting.

also, i am craving juice.
apple
orange
pineapple orange :)
BERRY LIME SUBLIME JAMBA JUICE
yes that is what i want times one hundred percent.

and guess who gets paid tomorrowwwww :) MEE. and guess who actually has one friday off in her entire life..ME. but guess who has to spend her night with ninth graders..ugh.
i am scared of them! they are mean and rude and have terrible attitudes. i just wanna slap them silly fools.

anyways. i am going to run/study/mostly walk because it's hard to run and read at the same time :)

i am a messsss times twelve.

2009-05-03T15:52:00.002-06:00

helloooo and welcome to the week of two ap tests, followed by the ninth grade dance that i am in charge of, i leave for kenya in seven weeks, anddd i have already gained 85 pounds because of my bottomless pit.

so now you know why i never post anything anymore, plus i have nothing to say ever. while my life is going i think of all these clever things to write about and what not, but when it comes time for me to put off studying and actually write on my blog, i have NOTHING to say. so bleh. i am boring but whatever.

i just ate a whole batch of cookie dough, and a brownie, a sandwich, chips, ect...ect. and i a little bit want to DIE. and i also want to lock myself up and never see anyone in the world ever again because i am sick of everyone and everything and...it's just getting out of hand. so if i am ever mean to you...take it personally. haha just kidding. dont.

auewkjafknaaja i have nothing to say...

it's your turn to give back!

2009-04-18T23:56:00.002-06:00

hey all ya'll! so you should know by now that i am going on a humanitarian trip to KENYA! we leave june 24, and i am so so pumped. we are going to be teaching schools, building a library, digging irrigation ditches, setting up soccer teams, going to all these different hospitals and orphanages and just helping out!

but we are running into a bit of a problem...we need supplies! so if anyone has anything, or knows of anyone that would like to donate that would be awesome :)
we need all sorts of stuff like...
-school supplies (pencils, scissors, markers, paper, whatever!)
-blankets
-hats
-SOCCER BALLS!
-soccer jerseys
-maps
-childrens books
-first aid kits (or even just a pack of bandaids or something! anything will work)

also, we have a million fundraisers (like a bowling tournament, a golf tournament, and a car wash) and we need gifts and stuff to auction off and give out as prizes and stuff...so if you have any connections pleaseeeeee let me know.
i'd love you forever and ever.
or! if you want to enter into the golf tournament definately let me know. we have awesome prizes to give out! so..please help :)

i have a dream!

2009-04-14T21:14:00.002-06:00

and that is...to loose all the weight that i gained after i lost it!..if that makes any sense at all.

working out kicks my butt though. but i was thinking about it, and it made me in a better mood, i felt more accomplished and what not, and...its another reason to put my homework off!

i am soo busy this week so just fyi that's why i'm not going to write at all, unless something huge happens, but even if that happens i will be too excited to sit down and type about it, especially when nobody reads this!

anyways...i'll tell you about florida, even though there is not much to tell. pretty much all we did was sleep! it was the best though!
we would wake up at like 10, go get some breakfast, nap on the beach, then go to the pool and nap there, then go to our room to get ready and usually fall asleep, then go to dinner with daddy :) it was a blast. pretty much my dream vacation, only in my dreams i was a size 2 and all the guys weren't gross and scary and old and hairy and wearing a speedo :\

but it was good! we went shopping one day, went to see a movie. it was just one big blast. and their mall, OH THE MALL! it was big and huge and...had good stores not lame ones like us. i could definately retire right now and move there :) haha.

anyways...spring break...i hung out with my friends :) visited my grandma, worked worked worked, slept, memorized the presidents (aka i got a B on the test!) did homework until my eyes bled. it was an intense process lemme tell you. but if you EVER need to memorize the presidents i have this really great song to oops i did it again by britney spears :) it works wonders.

and then school today was good. nothing interesting...i guess mostly just its sbo week :( and i'm not running. BUT i am hoping to be in seminary council. it's my dream :) i have a secret love for seminary, and the teachers. today sister newbold made me promise her that i would give my phone to her at the beginning of class so i wont text...but its so hardddd. because 1. i cant read the clocks they have in school, they just dont make sense! so i need my phone to see the time. 2. sometimes class is boring. 3. when in an awkward situation, what do you do? TEXT EMILY! its just..a law of my life. and lemme tell you my seminary class is not my number one best friends, so that equals awkward situations. i love brother downs though :) he's quite possibly the best teacher EVER!

so yadda yadda yadda. i'm blabbing about stupid stuff. i guess now that my legs have returned from their jello state that i will go to bed so i can...read the othello spark notes before i got to school in the morning! horray for stupid english class that makes you dont learn anything and you have the ap test in less than a month and you still cant diagnose a poem.

EW. and i hate when people are like.."oh you'll get it, it's easy" HELLO we've been doing poetry for 123 months and i still dont get it! i am the ONLY ONE IN THE WHOLE CLASS. and i cant write an essay about it because oh! guess what! i dont even know where to start because the poem talks about chickens but really it has a hidden story of this girl that got ran over a car, but really that's a symbolism for imperialism, which connects to history...ect. ect.

it makes me want to cry :(

my mother gave birth to a dummy :(

2009-04-11T18:07:00.004-06:00

dear world. i dont mean to be retarded..i just am.
i dont mean to be deaf. i just am.
i'm sorry mommy. :(

one. i cant hear a bloody thing anyone says! so stop getting mad at me for saying what after everything you say. i think half the time its the speakers fault anyways. STOP MUMBLING ALL THE TIME! and once in a while talk with a loud voice! goodness gracious you people drive me nuts.

two. i should have been born a blonde.
-i drove all the way to the...eastern mountains? whatever ones are with the copper mine thingy. just to find bangeter highway...when i had already passed it! bye bye a half a tank of gas thanks to my stupidity. horray!
-i just dont get anything! directions/instructions dont do me JACK! i still dont understand what i'm supposed to do!

question: what is love...

2009-03-29T12:42:00.003-06:00

answer:

the melting pot.

:) that that is the truth my friends. me and emily have been saving our pennies and clipping coupons for this day.

four course meal.

course one: your choice of cheese. NEVER ENDING bread, apples, carrots, celery, ect. :) so yummy

course two: your choice of salad. and lemme tell you it'll be the best salad you have ever tasted.

course three: meats. they bring out this chicken broth stuff and it's boiling then you get a giant platter of raw meats. they put sliced potatoes, mushrooms, and brocoli in the broth, then you cook your own meats. they cant get over cooked and it only takes about 2 minutes to cook each thing. then you get all these different sauces to dip them it. ahh it's soo good.

but my favorite part...

course four: yes my friends, it's the chocolate. you get to pick what kinda chocolate stuff you want, we got yin and yang which is in the shape of the yin and yang! and it's milk and white chocolate. it's magical! then you get this HUGE plate of stuff to dip it in...like..cheese cake, rice crispies, brownies, blonde brownies, strawberries, bananas, ect, ect, ect :)

and this is not the every day fondue chocolate. it's the best thing you will ever place in your mouth. the whole place is magical i swear! we were CONSTANTLY eating for 2 hours. so i say it was well worth my 42 dollars :)

it was so so much fun. i would DEFINATELY reccomend it to everyone who saves your pennies, and shares the love of fabulous fondue.

is it a bad thing if...

2009-03-25T21:21:00.002-06:00

i cant see out of my left eye and it's producing a million eye boogers a second?

i am thinking it's not such a good thing.

:( i am hoping it's not pink eye because i am pretty sure i've had my fair share of pink eye in my life.
one year..at efy i got it and i had(well...got) to miss the whole day of classes to go to the doctor. it was exciting for sureeee.

but i really am upset about this eye issue. i guess i will just rip it out and go eyeless the rest of my life...that way i wont ever have to see fat people eat. or the snow falling. or people that drop off their dry cleaning. or scary movies. or myself in the mirror. i can think of a million things i would be HAPPY to not have to see anymore. oh! like my grades on my report card. my homework. i could go on and on and onnnnnn. :)

bed time!

so...i have no time...EVER

2009-03-21T22:08:00.003-06:00

:) sorry that i never write! i feel like you guys are missing out so much on my freaking awesome life. so since last time...i actually got asked to prom! and went last night. and boy oh boy lemme tell ya..i sure had fun! i actually got work off..yes i know what you all are thinking...i was taken back myself when she said i could have it off. ;)but it was a lotta lotta fun!

firsttt we went to dinner at madelines and i ate my weight in salmon. then we went to the dance which was a freakin blast! :) pretty sure i danced my feet off. then we got really hot so we all went outside and just walked around the capital...thennn i got sick of walking so we decided to leave. so we went to kyles house to change our clothes..and then we all decided we werent in the mood to go with the rest of our group to do whatever they were doing so we stayed at morgans house to watch a movie..but of course i fell asleep the second they turned it on :) so yada yada yada...that's pretty much my night! :) and cute katy rose won prom queen and i was so so happy.

letssss see..what else has happened...

well i have a lot of money now from working my BUTT off. but i decided...one of these days i am going to write down all the nasty gross things that i find at work in peoples pockets...just just what people bring in. you wont believe your eyes when you read this...believe me.

my list of gross things that i've found/touched:
-poo (human, animal, ect., ect.)
-throw up (human, cat, dog, ect.)
-underwear...used underwear...from an old lady (i wanted to die)
-a toe nail. i'm not kidding.
-boogery used nasty tissues (this is on a daily basis)
-an old mans peed in pants that dried up and made the zipper stick so it wouldnt unzip.
-a bullet (that's not gross...i just thought it was cool)
oh! another not gross thing...in a police uniform i found a finger print ink pad..so i played with that for a while...before giving it back.

i'm done. i hate recalling those memories... :( it's upsetting.

but that's that. um i am going to florida soon :) horrayy. i cant wait to lay on the beach with my minus ten pound body...

OH I LOST TEN POUNDS!

um school is kicking my booty. i am so sick and tired of it all...i wish i could just sleep for a few days straight...and all would be good :)

anyways my mother is yelling at me to go to bed due to the fact that i have church at nine and i never ever ever wake up. i will put pictures up of me and cute morgan at prom up later :)

nighty night fools

a very good friend once told me...

2009-02-25T20:16:00.002-07:00

to laugh it off. stop being so hard on yourself and just learn to laugh at your mistakes and your trials...so that's what i have been trying to do..very hard. uggh. easier said than done though, i am not going to lie. sometimes all you want to do is beat someones head into a brick wall and be grumpy! but for some reason lately it's been like that for me alllllll the time.

but dont worry i'm stopping..NOW.

anyways. prommm is march 10th.
and i am bound and determined to force someone to ask me, just like i've forced people to take me to every other dance that i've been to. haha..sorry guys ;) i just wanna goooo :( it's my juinor prom. and i'm a junior. so pretty much...i'll be really mad when i am stuck at home throwing myself a pity party.

oh and did i forget to mention...my feet are going to fall off! freakin i get into work today and they have 15..yes 15 FULL bags waiting for me. then like half a million people decide to come and drop off even more stuff and i couldnt go fast enough and i was so stressed out and hungry and i had to go to the bathroom and..it was just bad. then i lock up at 7 and this guy drives up, but i was hiding wishing he would go away. but of course not. he stands there knocking for a while, then comes to the drive through door and knocks and stairs at me until i go help him. iwas mad. then like twelve other people followed i was like HELLO!! NO! i wanna freakin go home and eat before i die!

because..for some reason i havent been feeling well, and so i just am never in the mood to eat but it just HIT ME. and i wanted to kick someone...but i didnt.

anyways..what else happened. um pretty much nothing else. that's my life in a nutshell :) lucky you gets to read it...my life is sooooooo interesting. i just cant even handle it.

HA.

didnt see that one coming.

2009-02-24T16:51:00.002-07:00

yes. i mallory hit a parked car with my beast of a mini van.of course there is NOT A SCRATCH on my car. but i ramed the whole bumper in on the stupid boy that is retarded and doesnt know how to park's car. i'm pissed. as if i'm not stressed out about money and everything enought, this has to happen. PERFECTTTT.
lets see...
kenya $1675
last bs ticket $135
this stupid car...$?? unknown.

there goes my savings account.
and all my future checks.
i think i might sell my guitar? maybe? i dont know. every bit of money will get me closer to paying it off.

NINE.

2009-02-22T17:15:00.001-07:00

nine shots.
nine death shots.
nine death shots just to go to kenya.

how much better can it get...really?!

just a lil' update/thankful thursday

2009-02-19T17:34:00.003-07:00

well my day today and yesterday was good. and then today got ruined. thanks a lot stupid world. i am going to have a nervous breakdown and cry my eyeballs out.
but all is dandy.

hey hey come what may i'm not gunna let that ruin my day. no sir. no way. i'm not gunna let that ruin my day.

but that's a lie because i am still going to. UGH. i was informed today that i have to pay $900 in the next 9 days for kenya.
but i think this is where thankful thursday comes in.

THANKFUL THURSDAY.
1. all the money that people donated to me. really guys, thanks! it helped out A TON. :) i love you all for it.
2. getting locked out of electronic music. i really was not in the mood...so he gave me the perfect reason to run away :)
3. take home tests
4. dollar stores

okay. i'm done with that. anyways pretty much my life has been BORING BEYOND BELIEF lately. so i have nothing to tell anyone about!

oh but i taked to my boss and we made up :) which was kinda good. but i'm still on the lookout for another job, because 6.55 just sucks.

anyways i'm not really in the mood for this whole blog writing thing right now

IT WASN'T EVEN MY FAULT

2009-02-09T19:05:00.002-07:00

stupid pen wasn't even my fault.

i'm mad. and bitter. and annoyed. and every mad word in the dictionary. and all the mad words that aren't in the dictionary.

but i'm over that.

and i'm still quitting my job :) go me!

two words ruined my life.

2009-02-07T10:17:00.002-07:00

it's 10 am and i already have something to write about. but believe me it's not good.
i am crying my eyeballs out.
i am going to lose my job.
my boss is going to beat me.
i'm shaking so bad i cant hardly type.
i cant go to work today. i just cant.

and all this is because of two simple words in one stupid phone call that woke me up.

ink load.

this means nothing to you, but to me it means...i'm dead. they're going to throw me in the oven lock it up and throw away the key.

you know how i work at red hanger right? well. my job is to take in the clothes, check the pockets, tag the clothes, and get them all ready for cleaning. if there is a pen in the pockets, and it stays there, i'm dead.

and yes folks, there was a pen in the pocket.

and did i get it out? no.
was it on purpose? no.

so long story short, it exploded in the dry cleaning machine, got over EVERYTHING. and...i'm dead.

I AM SORRY.

2009-02-07T00:16:00.002-07:00

i've been so busy it's not even funny, and i never have time to write! well..who am i kidding i barely have time to go to the bathroom for heck sakes!

so needless to say, my life is crazy. between school, then straight to work, then straight to my homework (or the occasional napping with a book over my face), then trying to fit the gym, life, friends, um goodness..i dont even have time to spend all this precious money i am making!

it's very upsetting.

so today...i took clorox (spelling? who knows...) wipes to work today and cleaned EVERYTHING. i scrubbed all the black sticky stuff off of the three tables, the two key boards, i swept every little grey dust bunny that was floating around ( believe me...there was enough to fill a full size garbage can) it was terrible. but i feel a lot better about myself. AND i got to wear my normal clothes :) yay for no ugly uniform days. i'm praying i get another one tomorrow.

THEN today i went to a party. but there is nothing to tell there...then i went to see he's not that into you. and may i advise you..GO SEE IT :) and if you already have...i'm the brown haired one that over anylyzes EVERYTHING and tries way too hard.

anyways, now that it is 12:25 i need to get some of that much needed beauty sleep :)

to whom it may concern:

2009-01-23T22:04:00.001-07:00

:) that comment from anonymous person on my post below totally made my day :) so thank you!!

comments always make my day. yay.

nothing cool ever happens to me.

2009-01-22T14:35:00.002-07:00

honestly. i've got nothing for you guys.

i mean i've got school. but lets be serious...that's the last thing anyone wants to read about, and quite honestly..that's the last thing i want to talk about. 7 hours of it is enough for me :)

but...because of the fact that i have nothing else to say, and i'm wasting time before i have to go to work, school is good :)

1. astronomy. yay for easy science credits :)
2. ap us history. eh. it's okay...nothing really more to say
3. shoot. i always forget. okay umm. oh personal finance :) it should be a good class! it'll help me save my money...hopefully haha. one of our assignments is to save like..however much money we feel like we can a day. i choose 3 dollars a day. but i might change it like..to something per month..because i get paid every 2 weeks at my job. i dunno..we'll see what i come up with. we also have to write down every single thing we buy. which will suck. ugh. but it'll be good! i'm excited to learn all this stuff :)
4. commercial art. i fail. i cant draw. even my stick figures areUGLY so this..will be interesting. haha..and embarrassing.
5. seminary. yay for brother downs. and for a million and a half friends in that class. i talk way too much though. i'm working on not. but i cant lie..it's hard for me.
6. ap lit. ew ew ew. we're doing poetry and i want to die.
7. behavioral science. studying animals. yeah..easy. all we do is watch movies and take notes. :) my kinda science class for sure!
8. electronic music. hahahahahahaha. dont know what i'm doing. but it's fun...and nice to screw around. oh AND a hidden plus. we get out early so i can hurry and leave and not be stuck in the parking lot. :) because...we all know me in traffic...no bueno.

i guess i'll hurry and do thankful thursday.
1. pull through parking spots.
2. getting the butterflies.
3. my job. ( i know i say i hate it. but really. it's so nice. let's see. good hours. okay pay. it's perfect!)
4. a needle and thread (because all my favorite pants rip. and i HATE shopping for new pants...so i just sew them on up! works like magic)

"DID YOU SPIT IN MY FOOD?!"

2009-01-09T20:26:00.002-07:00

so this is my story about my bad encounter with a mcdonalds worker. ew ew ew. i was so so mad.

so..i pull up to the drive through and sat there for like 2 minutes waiting. and it was cold and nobody had said anything so...

ME: HELLOOOOOOOOOOOO?
MCDONALDS BOY : oh my g(you know what)...HOLD ON A SECOND
ME: excuse me?
MCDONALDS BOY: i said hold on a second!
ME: um dont tell me what to do! you're here to serve me fool!
MCDONALDS BOY: just one second

like a million hours later

MCDONALDS BOY: can i help you?
ME: its about time. one double stack (for breck)
MCDONALDS BOY: one double stack?
ME: that's what i said.

a million more hours of waiting in the line

MCDONALDS BOY: did you have the kids meal?
ME: does it look like i'd have a kids meal. no. i didnt.
MCDONALDS BOY: mcdouble? $1.08
ME: i hand it to him without looking at him.

while he is giving me dirty looks and planning something mean.
he hands me the money. i drive to the next window.

AT THE NEXT WINDOW

LADY WITH SOME GUY STANDING RIGHT THERE WITH HER: mcdouble?
ME: oh my gosh. yes i had the mcdouble.

LADY AND GUY STAIR AT ME. AWKWARDLY AND MEANLY AND KILLINGLY.

ME: WHAT'S THIS PLACES PROBLEM!

and i drive away

yes. i was mad. i wanted to punch someone out. so..dont ever go there again :)

thankful wednesday :)

2009-01-07T20:44:00.003-07:00

i always...ALWAYS mean to do thankful thursday.
but i always forget! so..i decided to do it right now so that i dont forget :)

1. my parents. i know...i know...cheesy and lame sounding. but honestly...i'm being serious. today we went to the homeless shelter and read stories to the kids there, and it just made me so thankful for my parents and what they do for me...and everything they give me! and how hard they work so we can have the things that we do have.

2. the fact that i have a job. i keep hearing about people getting fired and what not...and how nice is it that i was able to get a job while there are tons of people out there looking for them!

3. midol. what would the world be without it.

4. calculators. math tests would be a failure if it wasn't for my dear sweet technology :)

what are yours?

the monthly cry baby eyes had to come at the worst time possible.

2009-01-04T13:10:00.003-07:00

ugh so january 4th. :) happy birthday to me.

so today at church we're like sitting there and the WHOLE time i had cry baby eyes. i dont know why.. i just did. and so i was like holding it back and i was doing a pretty good job at it! but then in young womans they forgot my birthday...and it's not that big of a deal! like i dont even care but the lil' pms bug went off and i just wanted to cry my eyeballs out. i felt so stupid haha

ugh. so i just thought you should know my extremely embarrassing moment that i had.

BUT. there was something to make it up :) it's called. boy that i'm in LOVE with and always have been talked to me foreverrrrr and gave me like a million hugs (yes lame i know. but you have no idea how long i've been in love. probably since i was 5...so it's a big deal to me!) ah...i just wish you knew. but people read this that know him so i'm keeping shhh :)

i cry every time i take down the christmas treeee :)

2008-12-29T16:59:00.002-07:00

haha. uh pretty sure that's an inside joke. unless you've heard the ridiculously stupid song that says that a million times. who in their right mind cries when they take down the tree. well i almost did today because i was so mad at all the millions of christmas decorations we have in our house, and not enough boxes to put them all in. it's extremely upsetting...but i love it nonetheless.

um pretty sure i'm stressed out to the MAX currently. school starts in a week. which i am EXTREMELY upset about. i dont know how i'm going to do it. and i have so so so much homework it's ridiculous. i just wanna quit now and start runnin. and then..kenya is just creeping closer and closer. i still have to raise a bunch of money...and do a million hours of service. and i have to work. (WHICH I LOVE) haha. except for the part where it gets really stressful. that part is what i hate.

um. christmas was really fun :) i got everything i wanted plus some! and..i just loved it so much :) but i always do. i am HATING the snow. i want it to die. i wish i could take a sword and stab it a million times...but that would do abosolutely nothing except make me really cold..so i wont do it.

lets see...the other day me and merrit and abigail went to go ice skating at the south jordan rink. but of course it was closed...so we decided just to use our feet...minus the skates. and of course i was the one that falls...twice and gets a concussion :( it still hurts. i guess maybe i should see a doctor. but i hate them! they'll just tell me to take medicine. and i hateee that. so i wont :)

anyways. i need to stop eating so much. it's making me feel like puke.
but i have started to excersize more :) which is a plus. i'm proud of myself.